Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.

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Hello: This Demon Who Haunts Me

Hello! 


I'm also new to this website. I struggle predominantly with social anxiety, but also have Tricht. This is my experience: (trigger warning for all Trichts, anxious people, people who are afraid of visualizing the paranormal)


When I was about 6 years old I remember looking in the mirror and feeling the need to make my eyelashes even on both sides. I started picking and plucking with my fingers every now and then and it felt good to me. My family then made a big move and in the next 2-3 years I started pulling more. Around age 9 or 10 I pulled all of my eyelashes out.


My parents thought that I needed spiritual deliverance. I knew there was something wrong with me so I thought they were right. They sat me down lovingly and prayed for me to be healed and to be delivered from this evil that forced me to pluck. I remember feeling like this was accurate (something is driving me to do this), but not quite right all at the same time.


My mom told me that the spirit that was doing this to me looked like the two eels in the little mermaid. The positive thing about this was she said I had control over it. The bad thing was it scared me shitless. At night she gave me peppermint oil to put on my fingers so if I touched my eyes it would burn and sting. I would just cry and pray out loud to God to please just save me from this. My poor sister didn't know what was going on or how to help.


Despite all of that, I managed to cut down my picking impulses and I wouldn't pick at my lashes even when I felt the strong urge. By the time I was a teenager I switched to using tweezers to pluck my hair under my chin and between my eyebrows. Sometimes I would rip out my pubic hair too.


Today in my twenties I obsess over these prickly chin hairs, and ingrown hairs. If there's any hair there I feel like I have to pick it immediately. Thankfully I got on medication that helps with my anxiety and obsessive compulsions. It's help me not need to act on these impulses as much. 


I'm interested to hear how more user's parents dealt with the trich, and if your trich is associated with other conditions. 

Replies

getbacktoserenity
getbacktoserenity

Your story sounds quite abusive. That's no way to treat a child. I would have felt so guilty if that happened to me as a child. Im sure I would have internalized it as being my fault. How did it make you feel aside from the fear and terror?
My family mainly were in denial about my impulsive behavior. They also minimized it's severity. People simply don't understand so they try to either rationalize or ignore it.
cocopuffstuff
cocopuffstuff

@getbacktoserenity I never thought about it being abusive. Maybe you're right. My parents have always been controlling and I attracted abusive people before I went through therapy. I still live with them, but I have set better boundaries. I have a better paying job so planning on moving out soon. I'm hoping my sanity levels get better after that.
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