all my life i knew that i wasn't right. that something was wrong in my body. in kindergarden i wouldn't go to school unless i could wear my brothers clothes and be called andrew, a name that was for boys. at the time my parents just put up with it. they tried raiseing me as a girl but not really pushing me to act like a girl. so when i turned 15 i told my mom that everything was worng and i was really a boy. and in a strong catholic family sex changes is a choice that sends you streight to hell. so some how i convinced my mom that i was really not a girl. i said that my genitals are masculine. so she took me to the doctors. i found out that i have a really high testoterone level. and also my clit is bigger than it should be. so not thinking that was enough of convincing information i wasn't honest with my mom. i told her that i was diagnost with as a intersex person. so by this time i was 17 and just about to turn 18. so my mom not really supporting me kinda let me make my own descision something that if she knew the truth she wouldn't have let me do. so i was about to trun 18 so i went to court to get my name changed. by this time i had a few older friends that new me before this transition that i convinced as well that i was intersexed. so they helped my change my name. i also got a court order to amenend my birth records to male. so now i sit here as a "man" but not really geniticly. i have an extremly hevey heart cause i can't tell the friends or family i have cause i will lose them all. so i am under the table going to the doctors and working on getting the surgerys. i already got chest surgery last mounth and was so happy about that. but in this inbetween time i have to watch what i say and how i am around. i have to avoid going to the rest rooms at the same time my budies do. i feel like i am hidding a realy heavy sckelition. i know this is not right but this was the only way i could keep my family and still be happy. i know if i didn't do something i would have taken my life. and this is the first time i think i realy am leting in all out. so if any one has coments on what i should do please let me know.
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