
Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

deleted_user
well my bf of 1yr and a half proposed to me night before last- This really sucks. I have been having my transgender thoughts and had finally made up my mind(been thinking about it for a looong time actually) I was just still in the proccess of how to tell him and when to do it-how long should I wait-what would be the best way to break it to him gently even though I know he'll fall hard since I know he loves me so much >If anyone has any opinions on possible avenues they are welcome-I can't jump into this I need to make sure I have it all set out-I know he's not going to be mentally functional so I'm going to have to lead this through-I need to be prepared-help if you can. Thank You~
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Are you saying you are "no matter what" going to tell him? Or are you saying you will "maybe" tell him?
Are you saying that when you do tell him it will "Ruin the relationship" the two of you have? Or are you saying his feelings will be hurt?
It sounds awful, but if i had a boy friend who proposed to me i would say no more than "no, i am not ready." Often times that alone can cause break-ups. If in the near future when things settle down and clearer heads prevail, maybe you could tell him- but why give someone, anyone ammunition to hurt you during an already emotional time? The act of coming out to anyone is emotional enough, compounding it with additional emotional experiences doesn't sound well advised for timing to me, what about you?
-Marina
Absolutely everything in our lives is affected by our gender identity or lack thereof. Right out the gate before people even ask what a baby's name is they want to know boy or girl so absolutely everything is fair game (just my opinion though).
As for telling him there is no easy/soft way of explaining it really or at least not one I have found. However there is always the hope that he has what is called an "agape" kind of love for you, which would mean that you put the other persons best interests ahead of your own and love them unconditionally. The best example I have found is Christopher Reeves wife who stayed with him after the accident even though she knew things would never be the same again. No intimacy and I am not talking sex, but not even hugging, cuddling etc, no walks on the beach you name it their whole lives changed and she stayed so I know this kind of love exists but I also know it is a rare and beautifull thing.