A very early good morning all you precious circlers!
Whew, here goes. Before I get going I apologize for the novel :(
first, I am truly sorry I've been MIA. I was hit pretty hard with some news regarding my neck, back and blood work.
About a month ago my primary did a CBC. Results showed hemoglobin, protein, calcium & Albumin low, was told to eat more protein. I had already told doc I can only handle about a cup of food as tummy can't handle anymore. K, fast forward he has since done two more & my levels have dropped even more despite eating 3 really balanced meals high in protein etc.
After the last one he studied my labs over the weekend (2wks ago) & consulted with a GI specialist & they both agree I have a leak somewhere. Also he did thyroid the lowest on the T3 range is 2.3 which is exactly where I'm at but haven't talked with him on that yet.
So this morning I'll be having an endoscopy & this GI specialist who I really like will be doing something else, forgive me but I can't remember the term right now. Next Thur I'll be having a colonoscopy & somewhere along the line he wants me to swallow one of those camera capsules which I'll do. So all this part not to big of a deal.
Here comes the tough part. As I mentioned a while back I had consulted with a couple of other spine specialists who all agreed with what I'm about to say.
First, no surprise my fusion still has not fused. The surgery was back in July if it's not fused in six more weeks he needs to go back in, again not a shock or surprise.
The following info has really pushed me down the rabbit hole so to speak. Yes I know that's why I should be here each day, but honestly I'm just doing my best to make it through each day.
After my last back surgery it was about 4wks post op when I felt two bones pushing up, like two marbles. At first he thought it might be some of the hardware...this was at my 1st post op visit. Since I can't see it clearly he told Doran to watch it closely & if it got worse to come in.
Well it got worse. He ordered new scans & it turns out its two of my vertebrae's (sp?) that have somehow pushed up. He again said & then there's your neck which is a real mess...Duh!
He said we could do a bandaid procedure & shave the bones back, but in all honesty your neck if left as is I am looking at paralysis. I'm already experiencing dropping just about everything even though it feels like I have a firm grip. I'm finding it extremly difficult to do the stairs as I'll go to go up the next one but my foot drags. Sooo, he wanted me to see a neck specialist.
I saw the first one & admired his honesty when he said my case was way over his head & he felt I should see the other specialist.
I admired & appreciated this Dr as well. He spent his weekend going over my complete history & searching for the best specialist for me besides himself, he found 1& this Dr is in New York. I've been told only 5% of the population have my condition. In the 30yrs that my specialist group has been in business the procedure that I need to have done has only been done 5 times & he has done 3 of those.
If I do nothing it's not a matter if, it's a matter of when my arms & legs quit working and I won't be able to hold up my head period.
If I have the surgery there is still a high chance of paralysis at the very least I will be able to turn my neck very little and I will never be able to drive again. I told him to set the date (this was before I found out about my blood work..that needs to be resolved first)
I dont remember the name of my condition. I only remember him saying it will require 3 surgeries, 2 if the first one goes well. He said the 1st surgery will take 12-14hrs! :(
After much thought and prayer, if everything comes back okay with the endoscopy (I'm expecting to hear my ulcers are back, will be surprised if they're not )
If I'm given the okay to fly I am going to fly to NY and meet with that specialist & I'll finally get to meet a very dear friend in person.
Surprisingly, I'm finally at peace with it all. I have a very strong faith & I turned it over to God and will accept whatever his will may be. I know many have different views on this I just ask that you respect my way of having to make peace with the enormity of it all.
On one hand I'm at peace, but on the other much bigger hand I am absolutely terrified. The actual neck surgery aside, the two bones sticking out must be shaved back & done so soon. They are incredibly painful & are very close to breaking through my skin.
Ive been keeping up on the posts and as always will forever hold you all in my heart, thoughts and prayers.
you must admit it's been nice not having a novel all the time LOL. I'll let you all know how the endoscopy went & if they find anything.
I hope you all can understand at least a little, I really needed to work through this myself due to the enormity of it all. Many tell me to go to the Mayo Clinic which is less than two hrs from where we live, but a little over 80% of their spine Drs did there fellowship at my specialists center.
I love you all so very much, please pray for me. As I already said part of me is at peace, but the rest of me is really struggling to get out of this black abyss, I've never been here before like this so I'll gladly grab on to any hand or rope anyone has to offer.
I hope with all my heart that each and every one of you find at least one reason to smile today. For those that made it through this whole post, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. (Sorry for all the typos)
Much love & God bless