So check my profile out and you'll think you're looking at this girl that is happy.. I should get an acting award because truthfully I'm so unhappy it's crazy. But if I were being honest with myself and all of you we'd all know how unhappy I really am. I'm surprised I can fake a smile as good as I do.. I have this recorder in my head and it plays back 24 hours a day non stop.. All I can think of is how ugly I am, what a looser I must be and how I'm going to be alone my whole life. I'd never commit suicide or try, but I do think several times a week that I j ust wish God would take me.. That I would die.. There's not a single person in my world that knows I feel this way.. I have read and heard that teen emotions are crazy so I tell myself this is normal, but I see others that are so happy and free from any anger or hurt.. I want to be those people. I know this affects me in every area of my life.. But don't really know where it fits in.. So I'm posting here. I know from time to time people post like issues here in this group.. I just don't know what to do.. I can't tell anyone this is the real me because then they will know I'm a loser.. Right now I think I'm the only one who believes it.
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