I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years (first two years straight, last year on and off as we both got into some bad habits). We are currently together and have made very positive changes in our lives. But doing so has made me even more anxious and has given me intense and frequent panic attacks. He gets the worst of it. The depression makes me act horrible towards him at times, and then i 'freak out' or have a panic attack and he has to deal with it. He's there for me and loves me as i love him, but im terrified im going to push him away with my negativity and crazy freaking out all the time. DOes anyone else fear this? does anyone act mean or rude or just uncaring towards their boyfriend/girlfriends? It kills me to know i say and do some of the things i do to him. But in that moment and state of mind i just dont care and cant control it. Am i crazy for doing this? I feel so..
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