Over a year now I have tried to kill myself it had been over 4 months since my last attempt yesterday I checked myself into a hotel and took every narcotic plus over the counter pills, but I woke up I feel so ashamed my daughter called me while I was at the hotel I really couldnt speak so I hung up on her, she knows I know that she does I promised her I would never do that again I been to hospitals twice I could never go back they are horrible I am so sad and dissapointed with myself and all day long I have been thinking of how to do it without pills and thinking of her and how awful it would be for her. I dont know how to control this I wish I were normal now I have to put on a good face and get out tommorow and live. That was not my plan now I cant die because I feel tremendous responsibility to my daughter boy is she going to be angry when we finaly do talk I will try to cover it up but she's smarter than that.
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