I don’t think I can handle this. My religion has these teachings about the end of the world called end of days. I mentioned to my sister how there had been a lot of natural disasters in the world and she told me it was end of days stuff. This brought suicidal feelings to me and I’ve had a difficult time shaking them. I Just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life if I have to know that the end of the world is near. Also I don’t know how to look forward to my future when knowing I may not even have one.
I still feel like I don't want to be alive. I wish and prefer that I could fall asleep and never wake up. I hate the way that I live and how I spend my life and I wish I was gone. I never have enought time. My headaches come every day and I walk in a complete fog.
I cant say no. I'm not allowed to say no. My team can say no to me. Other teams can say no and pick and choose but I am the last resort for anything that is an ask at our company. I can't say, "no that should be someone else's problem" My bosses solutions have been to add project managers to help watch what I do which results in more meetings and status updates on my...