Just a dream by Carrie Underwood. I know its about the war. But it speaks to me... Baby whyd you leave me...Baby whyd you leave me..

I struggle with suicide every single day. I dont know about the rest of you girls but I feel ok about 20 percent of the day.. then his death creeps in... and then I am gone again..The fact my husband isnt really helping with conceiving again is making it worse and I feel like I have lost interest in hanging on to very much..I have my babys picture in the living room big and bright in a frame that everyone can see.. I wont let him disappear even though its so much more comfortable for other people to make him invisible...I miss him so much... and I am sick inside from losing him...It has not gotten easier. I think if I could be pregnant again or felt love and compassion and hope.. I could somehow get out of the night mare in my head...but losing him... the aging and there being little chance I can conceive again anyway.. then my husband not encouraging me or wanting to retry leaves me with only his picture for comfort and no hope whatsover that I will ever have closure

This song gets to me.


Here Without You lyrics

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh

God Speed by the Dixie Chicks. It is horrible makes me bawl every time. I cry for my friend who lost her little boy and he was wearing superman jammies.

For Lily I cry when I hear "When I get where I'm going." and "I saw God today" Donovon had both played at the funeral and he says that he always pictures Lillian running her hand through a lion's mane. When it is raining he says she is riding it too.

You'll be in my heart by phil collins. I use to rock and sing that to Nathan in the Nicu. and Sexy back. He loved that song. he'd cry in the car because he couldn't dance

T used to sing to Ari every morning, we actually have video of him singing to her, and the song that made her smile the most was "Got to get my heart back" by Keisha Cole. Whenever I hear it I break down, it was such a sweet memory. The other song is "No Air" by Jordin Sparks...how do you expect me to live alone with just me, cause my heart revolves around you. it's so hard for me to breath.

The dance is one for me...

one more day by diamond rio
this one is on his wibsite
different world by Bucky Covington
this one I would sing to Joshua and he would hush crying....other songs just wouldnt do it but this one would do it every time.....
I also like the phil collins You'll be in my heart....it is on his site too.....

Gotta go with Joshsmommie on this one and say One More Day by Diamond Rio. I've heard the song a million times before, but my husband played it the other day for me and it had so much more meaning. It's by far my favorite.

We dedicated Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks to Joey at the funeral. But some of the other songs that we played that I love are:

- Held by Natalie Grant
- With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman
- Who You'd be Today by Kenny Chesney
- Angel by Sarah McLachlan
- In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge
- I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me

I burned a cd with his songs on it and I listen to it all the time. It is almost comforting to me especially when I am having a melt down. I remember the night of his funeral my husband and I played it as we went to sleep.

Wtihout You, Never Forget You, & One Sweet Day all by Mariah Carey!! These are from her Music Box CD

There is another one that is hard to find, Precious Child by Karen Taylor

In my dreams you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul there is a hole that can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope cause you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
And though it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever in my heart

In my plans I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul there is a hole that can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope and you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
And though it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever in my heart

God knows I want to hold you, see you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven and someday I will again
Please know you're not forgotten until then

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
And though it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever in my heart



I am a mess whenever I hear it.

Disappear by Beyonce

It is my favorite. I listen to it on a daily basis.
I also am a big Mariah Carey fan and I love all of her old songs too.

Here are the lyrics.


If i beg and if i cry
Would it change the sky tonight
Will it give me sunlight
Should i wait for you to call
Is there any hope at all
Are you drifting by

When i think about it
I know that i was never held or even cared
The more i think about it
The less that i was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, i can almost feel you
You're nearly here
And then you disappear
(disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(disappear, disappear, disappear)

And then i lie all by myself
I see your face, i hear your voice
My heart stays faithful
And time has come and time has passed
If it's good it's got to last
It feels so right

When i think about it
I know that i was never held or even cared
The more i think about it
The less that i was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, i can almost feel you
You're nearly here
And then you disappear
(disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(disappear, disappear, disappear)
You, you disappear

I missed all the signs
One at a time you were ready
What did i know starting our lives
No my love, i'm ready to shine

When i think about it
I know that i was never held or even cared
The more i think about it
The less that i was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, i can almost feel you
You're nearly here
And then you disappear
You disappear, you disappear
You disappear, disappear

To Make You Feel My Love by Bob Dylan. We played it at our son's service. It's still hard to listen to, almost ten years later.

I have a few that just totally rip my heart out
seriously you may wanna grab a kleenex if you read these.......


JOHN WAITE
Missing You lyrics (this is on his memorial site)
-
Every time I think of you
I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here and you're miles away
And I'm wondering why you left

And there's a storm that's raging
Through my frozen heart tonight
I hear your name in certain circles
And it always makes me smile

I spend my time thinking about you
And it's almost driving me wild

And there's a heart that's breaking down this long-distance line tonight
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone away.
I ain't missing you
No matter what I might say.

There's a message in the wire
And I'm sending you this signal tonight.
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight.
In your world I have no meaning
Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking down this long-distance line tonight.
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone away.
I ain't missing you
No matter what my friends say.

And there's a message that I'm sending out like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can't bridge this distance
Stop this heartbreak overload

I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone away
No I ain't missing you no matter what my friends say
I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you
I can lie to myself.

And there's a storm that's raging
Through my frozen heart tonight.
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone away


Chasing Cars Lyrics
Artist(Band):Snow Patrol
(this song makes me think of the life my 2 younger sons should have had)


We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


I Don't Want To Miss A Thing lyrics
Aerosmith (first song on the radio when I held Nick for the first time)

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

(chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss

Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

(Chorus)
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing

My song's our the dance by garth brooks
your beautiful by james blunt
daddy girl by red solvine
I hope you dance by leann wollmack
Where you would be today those where the songs played at emalee's furnal but I also cry when I hear One more day and I belive there country songs