I lost hayden to sids, last sunday aug 5th, I feel like im in an alternate reality, I have it in my mind that everything will be ok, I feel helpless i dont know what to do, thoughts are blurry at best, i try to keep occupied and i feel guilty, I miss him. I woke up sunday and went to get him from the crib, and i touched him, didnt feel right i felt him he was ice cold, and stiff, he was purple, an image burned into my mind, he was lifeless like i never ever expected, with his stiff body i run to my neighbors screaming for help. call 911, there was nothing ANYONE could have done, I want him back. I miss his laugh and all his funny faces, I feel like moving on is forgeting, but I know i will NEVER forget him he taught me alot about life and myself, i dont know what to do.
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