my siena may past away on 4/12/08 from what we think is sids she was 8 months.we are still waiting final results...i was a stay at home dad do to a work slow down and spent the last 5 months with my little girl every hour of the day.the day it happened i went out for a late lunch with a buddy and give siena/mom some alone time.she stopped breathing on a late afternoon nap when i was out.when i got to the e.r she was lying lifeless on a table i ran beside her and cried in her ear fight it baby fight.i was to late my first reaction was to grab scissors and cut my wrist but i was attacked by doc,nurses and police.my baby was to little to be alone she was never even left with a sitter,i just wanted to join her on her journey.i have since been sent home from observation and we buried our little angel...my mind is just going crazy with thoughts-what if i didn't go out,what if she napped at 3not5,what if she went to childrens hosp instead of the nearest one,did her mom do something wrong[i know she didn't].why can't i remember her face,why am i not crying more she was my world.why do i want to have another baby i just loss my siena may,what did i do wrong in the past....my head hurts so bad my heart is dead my stomach feels as though someone stuck me with a pitchfork and is now turning it.why hasn't siena come to me in more dreams is she mad at me...i'm sorry for rambling on....i just miss my little scootch so much i want to die.....if it were not for being a sin that would keep me from seeing her again i think i would try to take my life.....please has anyone else had these feelings? Siena May's daddy.