I am so sorry to all of my family here on DS. I have been so wrapped up in Dylan, and the holidays, and dealing with missing my Jakob, or trying to find the time to deal with it. Jason has been off for the past 27 days, he goes back Friday. It has just been so crazy, and I have not been here. I must say, Dylan is amazing, but it does not in any way ease the pain of loosing my Jakob, or missing him. I didnt think it would, but always wondered if it would help. I do have some joy back in my life now, but not without the guit that comes along with enjoying him without my Angel. I dont have a lot of time to cry uncontrolably, or lay in bed all day like I want to sometimes, or watch his DVDs and just miss him like I used to. For all of the mommies out there who got through this, and are still doing so with other siblings, gold medal to you, It is hard a year later having to take care of Dylan and not having time to deal with my grief, I could not imagine not having that time from day one. God bless you all, and I will be back regularly soon, as soon as I can. I do check my emails regularly, so if you need to talk/vent, I will get it. I think of you all, and your angels DAILY, even if I am not on here.
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