Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group
Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is any sudden and unexplained death of an apparently healthy infant aged one month to one year. SIDS is responsible for roughly 50 deaths per 100,000 births in the US.
I recently was told that my doctor (not the dr. who delieved Deven) had to deliver her baby at six months of age. The day before she went in for her six month ultra sound and was told the baby had some heart problems. The next day she did not feel the baby moving and went to the dr. Long story short her baby was dead. I was told she is having a very hard time with this and went back to work 2 weeks later because she couldn't stay home. My doctor did not tell me but I was told by my boss. We live in a town of 888 people and because we work in the health field my boss knew. Anyways today when I had to go to the clinic I asked to see her and gave her the card. She then asked how I was doing I gave a small smile and then asked how she was doing. I could tell she knew I knew and her eyes just welled up. She then said let me know if I can do anything for you, and I said you do the same. I gave her a hug and left. Of course in the card I suggested she check out this web site. My question is; have I crossed the line between patient and Doctor or was it ok for me to approach her since this is not something that is just gossip. Of course I never just came out and said I know, it was obvious I could see in her eyes, as all of us know the look of a mother who has lost a child is so obvious when you see it. I just hope I have not invaded her privacy as I know she was trying not to tell people as not many even knew she was pregnant. I actually went to see her after Deven died and never knew she was pregnant. I guess knowing that it is helpful to have people around who are walking in our shoes I was just compelled to reach out to her even though I am still forever away from coming to terms with losing my sweet Deven. I guess I am just wodering if I crossed the line?
Leosmommy
I truly don't think you crossed the line. You reached out to her in a very low key, tactful & empathetic way. I don't think you could have handled it better.
deleted_user
I think what you did was great. Not many know how to address someone after a loss such as this, she may really be searching for answers or just someplace to talk or have a good cry with people who understand, you did it very low key, I think what you did was good.
deleted_user
I agree; it was meaningful yet low key. I think it was a perfect way to say how you were feeling without having to say much at all.
deleted_user
I definately think you did the right thing, You handled it in the best way in this situation..you were considerate and compassionate without being forceful and intruding..my thoughts are with her xx
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