I am afraid to admit this, but I think that I need to get it off of my chest. After I lost my first child to SIDS, I think that I got over the loss really easy. After a short time I just said that I was going to have another baby and my life would be fine. Well that is what I did. I had my daughter and almost forgot about my other son. I think in hte last 7 years I probably have gone to the cemetary maybe 20 times. And now this has happened and I have no idea why God would do this to me twice. But I am terrified. I love Edgar Jr. more than anything. And I love Angel also, but I am so scared of forgetting my children. They are resting next to eachother, which I am so glad that we were able to do that. I go to the cemetary now atleast 2 or 3 times a week. I just sit there and appologize to Edgar Jr. for what I have done. I feel like I should have done more for him. I told my Mom how I feel and she said that I shouldn't feel like this. She said that I need to focus on the future. That no matter what has happened I am a good mother. It just hurts so bad, I feel like I have failed them.
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