I've always been the strong one.. the girl with all the answers. Everyone always comes to me with their problems for support and encouragment. I am 23 years old but I have always lived and acted with the knowledge and patience of someone beyond her years. I have a beautiful home and a wonderful smart little girl. I've been maried for 5 years with a man who is always willing to listen. I don't know why I can't cope with this better! I guess it's too much even for me. I have 2 jobs the same as my husband. We are constantly working. I work at a national telecenter (no telemarketing, I hate that) and I work for a local prowrestling organization (the UWF). At the UWF, we are greatly understaffed and I have a huge workload that takes up all my free time and energy. I had a confrontation with one of my co workers at our last show. From this I discovered that my opinions and feeling really do not matter to these people. As long as I'm quiet and do my job they don't care other wise. This feeling I was having was confirmed when my the owner of the UWF calls me last night and tells me the same. My husband is a wrestler there and he loves it. I want to be supportive of him but if I quit there will be no one to replace me. I really worry about what will happen to the company if I go. This alone would not bother me, but my great grandmother died just 2 weeks ago. I was so close to her. She died 2 days before my aunt died. I don't feel like I've had enough time to properly mourn them. My brother was diagnosed with liver disease last year they say he has 2 years at best. He was reacently admitted to the hospital because of a stroke. It's hard to think that I could lose him. My mother-in-law was in a hit and run accident and broke her pelvis this weekend. I love this woman just like she was my own mother. I don't know what I can do for her. My dad lives alone and he was very upset with me because I haven't found the time to come see him in so long. He gave my sister the message to never speak to him again. I feel as if I am tring to avoid him. He's an alcoholic in denial and everytime I go see him he's always verbally abusive. There's always a fight especially when I try to convince him that he needs to get help with his drinking problem. I don't know what to do and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I want to curl up in a corner and hide until it all passes. I don't want to leave my home and my 3 year old asks me why I am crying all the time. I can't talk to anyone because they all come to me for support. My husband listens but he don't know what to do. I feel like a burden on him. Where do I go from here?
Posts You May Be Interested In