Stress Management Support Group
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ok i had a play that i was in last Friday and Saturday ok the jackass aka my father was there he was trying to talk to me but all i did was walk away i didn't want to get into a fight with him there. so when he left i talk to my sister who yelled at me (this is a person who if she gets backed in to a corner then she will pull something out to change the subject) well anyways i told her to fuck off and that this was my choice and she should respect it then she springs that my grams is in the hospital and now i just cant sleep i need help how can i show my sister she needs to respect me and to just back off?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
My parents divorced when I was about 5 because my father was physically abusive towards my mother. Luckily, my stepfather turned out be hardly less than a perfect role model. My mother in turn, cheats on him and has done so for more years than I can count on two hands.
I also had Satan for my little sister. Seriously, she made a permanent goal to destroy my life any which way she could. But the only time I ever raised my voice at her was when she made an offensive remark about our stepfather, whom I defended.
As an adult we communicate casually, but I feel my relationship with her is very much on a surface. It feels fake and empty and uncomfortable. My relationship with my older sister is that of my best friend in the world. I wish I could say the same for both my sisters but I cannot.
I really am not sure what advice to give you, but you may try talking with your sister one on one about how each of you feel about you father. Go out for a coffee maybe? Tell her you need her to respect your feelings, and if you choose not to talk your father right now, that you need to move at your own pace, and it will take time before you feel you want to open up to your father again. It sounds like both of you have very strong opinions but the last thing you need is to be at opposite ends with each other. Remember that your relationships with your parents may be flaky, but in the long run there may be a time when your parents are no longer around and your brothers and sisters will be the only close family you have left.
I also hope that in time you may find forgiveness for your father. He may never openly admit his faults to you but there is possibility that you might find other qualities in him that give you reason for him in your life. I have a hard time accepting my mother's behavior and as painful as it is for me sometimes, I try to remember that she is in fact human, and people screw up. I will never agree with what she does or support the excuses she uses to justify what she does. But it would be harder for me to eliminate her from my life.
Sorry, I don't know if I've been of much help!