What is it that your gf does that bothers you so much? And if it bothers you now, you are lucky to find out before you got married. Do you communicate well? You need to ask yourself, do I love her or is it just a habit? Do I need her, or is it just a habit?

The key to a great relationship is communication and honesty/ whether you are right for eachother, now is the time to explore. If it does end, you will both move forward and survive, if you both are feeling as though you cannot, than maybe it was meant to be. Time away is often a good idea if you are feeling conflicted. Go with your heart!

*sigh* Unfortunately I am all too familiar with what you are saying.I have broken it off with my bf because of things he was doing that I felt like I just couldnt handle anymore. I thought that by me leaving he would change and/or my life would be filled with peace.Unfortunately it didnt work that way.
So I guess Im not much of a help but I would say if I could do it over I would really think about if I was willing to invest in this relationship any further and if it was worth the headaches..If you are really considering marrying the girl then seriously you have to tell her whats up,not "stop doing what youre doing" but !!!STOP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING OR THERE WILL BE NO POSSIBILTY OF A FUTURE TOGETHER AND I WILL BE GONE!!...Hope it works out for the best for you..Let me know.Take care

o yea!! together 8 years!! Thats a hell of a long time..So I would suggest you really do some soulsearching before you fall into the same boat I am in!! GOOD LUCK

I was in a relationship for 7 years and devoted in the highest sense, but kind of also deep down knew things weren't going to change. I went travelling for 6 months by myself and found a lot of strength in it. He cheated while I was gone and I found out by accident when I got back. I still think he's a wonderful person on some level, but I can tell you that my life has evolved in the most amazing ways since we split. Currently I'm in a 3 year relationship that I'm a lil unsure of tho, so I reckon there's always 'stuff'. It just depends whether you feel that the other person is supporting your growth and happiness enough for you to put up with the stuff you don't like. (people don't change for others) Just my opinion though and I've only been in two relationships, so I don't have a huge amount of experiene.

I have only been in two long term relationships for about 2 years each. I am still in my second relationship but when I left the first one it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was as if my life came back from the grave.
It's hard to advise you what to do here. Some people find they are no better off alone than with the extra stress of a relationship. I prefer lonesomeness to the burdens of relationships that bring me down. If you are feeling this way now, I think marriage is a bad idea. That is probably the last thing you need to consider right now. 3 years is a long time but you don't want to wake up in another 20 years and realize you were not truly happy with this person.

thanks for the response. so far we're good. she has been better. only time will tell haha

Hey, I know that this may sound a little cheesy, but I am going to recommend that you and your gf read this book:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by: John Gray

I also recommend the Mars and Venus on a Date book by him.

I know that you're thinking that it's cheesy, but Dr. Gray offers alot of insight on how men and women think and why we sometimes have trouble getting along. I think that if the both of you read it, it may help with your communication.

I read it and it completely opened my eyes to things that I do in relationships that piss men off or push them away. I had no clue that I was even doing them.

God Luck!

~Sugah~

You need to be your own person. Do you like your gf as a person? If there is a lot of what you call BS then there are aspects to her personality that turn you off. Life is too short to hope someone will change. That is a major misconception in relationships. Find someone you can admire for their character and that you would want for a friend. Then you will have something that you can build on and may last a life time
Sincerely Ann

if your relationship is more healthy than not, work on it- its hard to find a good one-bad signs: alcohol, drugs, possessiveness, rudeness

What BS? Is she nit-picky? Is she insecure?

3 years is a long time..

but the rest of your life is even longer.

insecure and possessive is my issue.

5 and 1/2 years.We were in love and engaged,but things got sour b/c we forgot why/what it was that brought us 2gthr (being true friends),also that we grew, but apart.our last 6 mnths were hell.wen he spoke.I wanted to choke him!stress and frustration kept building up & it snapped,we sat down and said we cant do this anymore.We broke it off and he moved out.like a weight had been lifted from both of us.we're best friends again & still luv eachother. sometimes you just have to know when to let go.

Being insecure and possessive are two very damaging things for a relationship... they can sustain growth in a relationship, causing the same issues to be brought up on a contiunous basis. Is she taking any steps to loosing up?

nope. sometimes she gets better. than it gets back to the normal thing. usually upset b/c i work a lot... or theres a hot girl on tv and im watching haha..... god help me when a "girl" friend calls me on my phone....

Your gf sounds a lot like a very good friend of mine that Ive known since childhood.. unfortunately I havent seen much of a change in her over the years, and she drives her bf/ and his family crazy! Is she an insecure person in general? Do her insecurities affect your relationships with family members as well?