i dont get it. i hate it. im stressed so bad right now bc of the death of my closest and longest friend. its been almost 2 months and everyone else just doesnt talk bouthim any more. i have known him literly all his life. that boy and me have went through so much together and his father was always there for me. he died to . they both did when thier house caught fire. i was supposed to be with them that night i promised. but i got off work late and the last thing i said to him was "Whatever" and i hung up on him.

it hurts alot and no one wants to bring his name up no more. I have tried to stay busy by getting a second job, staying in my senior year at high school, and taking night classes at the community college but at night when theres nothing to do i sit and think and wonder.
its all driving me crazy and i dont know how to just deal with it all. lifes so stressful and meaningless most of the time. i will never forget him though. never..