Hi, sorry this is so long. Does anyone have any experience with family members who dump everything on you? I've always had a reputation for being the dependable one. My parents both got sick about a year ago and that has been stressful enough. I had to quit working for a few months to accommodate them (which I was okay with). Things have improved, Thank God, however I am more stressed than ever. My mom still needs care and she lived with my sister for a few months. Even though she can't live alone, my sister wanted her out. No real reason, just wanted her home to herself. My mom had a room and bath of her own there, but my sister wanted me to take some of this "burden" and have mom stay with me (my house is multi-level and full of steps-mom can't do steps). My sister wanted me to just put her in the middle of my family room on a cot with a partition for privacy. While my mom stayed with my sister, I busted my butt to make sure I was doing my part-handling all dr. appointments, getting her meds, going by after work and staying for hours so no one would have to be "bothered" with mom, who by the way, could do things for herself and required very little attention. She just needed people around in case she fell or something. So mom moves back to her own place with my niece taking care of her. I still handle all mom's bills, paperwork, house issues, doctor appointments, etc. In addition, my dad left town for the winter and I handle his bills, paperwork, business dealings, issues, etc. All has been dumped on me because I'm the responsible one. My sister earned the reputation a long time ago that she didn't handle finances well so it all goes to me. I have no other siblings. I also have an aunt who calls me daily with a list of things I need to check into for my mom regarding her care. I finally told her tonight that I can't handle all this anymore and I'm ready to leave town. I spend all my breaks at work on the phone calling doctors, insurance companies, real estate agents (my mom is thinking of selling her house), physical therapists, medical supply companies asking various questions to help my mom. When something comes up, I get "well I don't know what you're going to do, but your mother needs..." Now my aunt is not an invalid. She perfectly capable to help. So is my sister. But no one will help me out and if I don't do it, my mom suffers. I am the goto person for everything, even when it has nothing to do with me. My family has always been very needy and wants their hands held. How do I back off without hurting my mom?
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