Stress Management Support Group
Stress management defines stress as a person's physiological response to an external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight" reaction.Stress can be overwhelming. This community is for best practices in stress management.
ok to make a long story short, im 23 y.o. i started a new promising career. everything moving on up... good job, healthy... good girlfriend... i have plans... living at home and saving money to buy a house within a yr or 2. get married, raise a family.
them WHAM.
parents tell me they r about to lose their home b/c of their debt. they tell me they're in debt over 400,000 dollars.... they say i dont HAVe to, but i can take out a loan for that amount and solve their problems (i dont feel like explainaing where all the $ went). OR they would have to sell the home they worked so long and hard to obtain...
anyways i do it, b/c its my parents.... 400k plus interest on a loan... now im in debt 900k.
so here iam... still live at home... in debt so much money.. and nothing changed, and i have nothing to really show for it...i live at home w /my parents... im embarassed to bring friends over and my gf... (my coworkers are much older than i, i am very young to be in the career iam in). then i find out my parents forgot about a credit card... so not only do i have to pay the loan... there a credit card w/ 25,000 i have to pay off now....
well.... i feel like im living paycheck to paycheck now (something i tried very hard to set myself up to not do). i feel like .... i just dont feel like this is right... now i feel great i am able to help my folks... am i being selfish???
i mean... i want my own life and freedom......
them WHAM.
parents tell me they r about to lose their home b/c of their debt. they tell me they're in debt over 400,000 dollars.... they say i dont HAVe to, but i can take out a loan for that amount and solve their problems (i dont feel like explainaing where all the $ went). OR they would have to sell the home they worked so long and hard to obtain...
anyways i do it, b/c its my parents.... 400k plus interest on a loan... now im in debt 900k.
so here iam... still live at home... in debt so much money.. and nothing changed, and i have nothing to really show for it...i live at home w /my parents... im embarassed to bring friends over and my gf... (my coworkers are much older than i, i am very young to be in the career iam in). then i find out my parents forgot about a credit card... so not only do i have to pay the loan... there a credit card w/ 25,000 i have to pay off now....
well.... i feel like im living paycheck to paycheck now (something i tried very hard to set myself up to not do). i feel like .... i just dont feel like this is right... now i feel great i am able to help my folks... am i being selfish???
i mean... i want my own life and freedom......
deleted_user
You are crazy if you take out a loan for your parents.You are to young for that and it should learn them a lesson.I do believe you should help pay some of there bills since you leave there.(power bill ,water,cable,food,house payment)I have seen to many cases like this and it only gets deeper.Youcan't bale them out of everything unless you are rich and can afford it.You have to look at your future as a husband and a father if this is what you want.Have they thought about bankruptcy or let the home go and rent.As a parent I would not ask my kids for help.Please think about this before you do anything even if they are your parents and they should not get mad.
deleted_user
I WOULD DO A LOT OF THINKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE I'D MAKE THAT MOVE. YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. THEY ARE GOING AND YOU ARE COMING, THEY HAVE LIVED THEIR LIVES AND THE THINGS THAT THEY WANTED IN LIFE. AND NO IT'S NOT BEING SELFISH. IF YOU DO THIS IT WILL SET YOU BACK IN LIFE AND YOU'LL BE IN YOUR 50'S BEFORE YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING IN LIFE. IF YOU CAN HELP THEM IN ANY OTHER WAY THEN DO SO. BUT TO ASK YOU TO DO THIS IS SELF OF THEM. CONSIDER WHAT YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF INTO FIRST BEFORE YOU MAKE THIS DECISION.
deleted_user
If you haven't already done it, DON'T! Your parents shouldn't put you in this position, they would be taking away your life and your freedom to set up a life of your own! You would be alot more help to them if you let them work it out for themselves, that's the way it's supposed to be. You only get one life! Live it your way!
deleted_user
I think you are not seeing the bigger picture here. It is great that you want to help your family, I bet some mothers wish their sons would care as much. However, my question is... how did they spend $425,000 above their means? I have a bad feeling that even though you "saved" them from losing their home, that they will continue to spend. They should seek some kind of counseling. Hopefully they will take back responsibility for at least a portion of the debt. I know we should take care of our parents, but I would think that they would want a better life for their child than to be constantly worried about money.
Join the Conversation
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
