today is one of those really bad days.. it is still had to grasp and feels so unreal and then all of sudden it hits you and hits you HARD...i feel so empy and my body is aching for the baby that I carried for 38 weeks... my husband had to go back to work this week and I have tried to take care of my other children 4 &9 yr old girls and maintain some sense of something and it has been a real battle .. and one that I am not winning.. my little one came from preschool today and told me the other mom who was due right now was in the hospital having the baby and her friend there was so excited and my daughter was crushed,,,,,,,, needless to say so was I ... I prayed for the mother and the baby , but at the same time I felt very intense anger at the the situation....I just can't get used to the fact after thinking I was in the clear that I will never see my daughter again and do all the things that a mother is supposed to do, I just keep thinking of what it was supposed to be and that I can never change it..I feel like my body has been severed..and my spirit is so broken...I hope this wave passes and a little time between the next one crashing... thanks for letting me vent and any positive feedback would be appreciated...I am so sorry for all of you reading this and on this board...
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