I feel like every day it's getting harder and harder to cope with the loss of my baby. Sometimes I blame myself for what happened. Since I don't know why my baby died I drive myself crazy thinking of what it could be that killed her. I didn't take my prenatal vitamins everyday, maybe I didn't eat the right food. My baby didn't just die for no reason. I still remember the last day I felt her move - I knew something wasn't right bc she wasn't moving much but I waited until the next day to go to the hospital. I just keep thinking she would be alive if I would have went to the hospital earlier when I KNEW something wasn't right. But now she's gone and it's too late. I just never thought this could happen to me, it never even crossed my mind. I just always thought once you made it past 12 weeks everything would be ok, but it's not. Why didn't anybody tell me this could happen to me? Life is so unfair and I'm so mad I have all these pink clothes and a brand new swing and no baby. Thursday is my due date and I dont even want to think about it. I miss my baby girl so much.
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