Yesterday my mom & I went to get my son a puppy for his 1st birthday. We got him a yorkie mixed with a chihuahua (sp?) and I named her Sophie. I guess in a way having the little girl puppy helps me cope with my emotions about losing my daughter, since I can buy all the pink things for her. Anyways, today I went to petsmart and everytime I go somewhere with my son people OOH & AHH over him, well this lady who worked there kept talking to me and him and asked me if he was my only child and my response was "yes." Right after I answered, I couldn't help but feel so guilty and all I kept thinking in my head was "Brooklynne" and I totally tuned the lady out after that bc I wanted to badly to tell her but I just couldn't. I felt horrible and apologized to Brooklynne to myself for a minute after I did it. Neither one of my children were planned and me and my boyfriend are going through a lot right now, but I want another baby so bad. I know this sounds bad, but I honestly feel like I would be disappointed if I got pregnant again and it's not a girl. I don't think anybody realized how bad I wanted Brooklynne and now that I don't have her here only makes me want a little girl even more. I just hope when the time is right that Brooklynne will pick out a little sister for me. I guess I can only hope though...
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