I feel like i just can relate to anyone in my life anymore. I was best buds with my sister, our sons are even best buds. we were preggo and due with indays of each other and spent our entire pregnancy together. Now that she has her daughter and i have nothing but a broken heart, itsh ard to find conversations anymore. She is in happy go lucky mommy land and i am in broken heart babyloss land. 2 compleatly different planets. I feel like i cant relate with anyone around me. I cant even relate with the woman i was before this happened. I cant dance, song, play my drum, hula hoop or get into ANYTHING i loved anymore, i dont feel it at all. I am gone and i dont know who was left here inside me. When i woke from that anestesia i was a differen person. I died that day that stella died. when they cut me open and pulled her out, they also pulled out my soul and i died. WHY? I dont see how i can even go on with this hell. i see no future either. DH doesnt want more children and i feel that is the only way i can come to terms with this loss, is to go on to have a good outcome, and if i dont there is no moving on from here. i will be stuck in this dark dismal place forever. i need to feel like i am a part of somthing good again.
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