I am in a lot of pain emotionally today. Nobody understands this feeling. I am trying to get more active in becomeing Ryan's (my 3 year old) mother again after being out of comission the entire pregnancy. I have peripartum cardiomyopathy so I am tired constantly, on tons of meds, don't sleep well, and am very overweight. I have help from my mom and husband, but they don't get it either. My 3 yearold is driving me nuts. He's testing every limit and I don't have the energy to deal with it. Every decision I seem to make is a wrong one or something is wrong with it. I was so sick the enttire pregnancy that hubby pretty much took over all parenting. It was that bad. Now that I am getting back into the swing of things, it seems whatever I do isn't good enough. My emotions are all over the place, I can't get my stupid boobs to stop making milk and they hurt like hell. I've done everything I know of to try and get them to stop. Binding, ice, cabbage, tea. It's awful. I have no interaction with my son because he wants Daddy all the time. Can't blame him. I'm no fun. I can't do hardly anything because of my health and am just fed up. I just needed to vent. Patrick (my angel) was stillborn March 15 and I am still just at a complete loss. Not only did I lose my son, but I lost my health too. I will have heart failure the rest of my life and cannot have anymore children. I am so so angry about that too.
Posts You May Be Interested In