Right after Baby Charles was born via csection, the nurses gave my husband our son, he was so beautiful. I Never told anyone, but I was so terrified of holding him, i did look at him and stroked his baby nose and precious hair, but I just could not bring myself to actually hold him. Its been four months now, and I feel so guilty for this, I keep seeing the that day in my mind and wishing I could re-do it, I mean by holding him and just being a mother that I should have been to him. Even the day after the nurse brought our son back to my room for our good-byes, I just stood there and stared at his little body and kissed him while my husband held him for me. Have any of the DS ladies had these f eelings? I feel so ashamed for this, I did get to touch him again at the funeral, but I know I could have done much more....God please forgive me!!
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...