Right after Baby Charles was born via csection, the nurses gave my husband our son, he was so beautiful. I Never told anyone, but I was so terrified of holding him, i did look at him and stroked his baby nose and precious hair, but I just could not bring myself to actually hold him. Its been four months now, and I feel so guilty for this, I keep seeing the that day in my mind and wishing I could re-do it, I mean by holding him and just being a mother that I should have been to him. Even the day after the nurse brought our son back to my room for our good-byes, I just stood there and stared at his little body and kissed him while my husband held him for me. Have any of the DS ladies had these f eelings? I feel so ashamed for this, I did get to touch him again at the funeral, but I know I could have done much more....God please forgive me!!
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