Hi ladies. My name is Allison, and I just stumbled across this board. I am sad to say that I am here because I just lost my first born child, Christian, at 37 weeks due to a cord accident. I woke up from an evening nap on Dec. 16th, and I didn't feel my son moving at all. After about 20 minutes, I drove to the hospital, and my doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. I was only 2 1/2 weeks away from his due date, Jan. 1st, 2009. After 27 hours of induced labor, I delivered him, and it was the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure. My husband and I just don't know what to do with ourselves! All of the anticipation and excitement of his arrival has just been shattered by this cruel fate. I am finding it hard to cope. I barely want to get out of bed. I am just plain miserable. However, I have this burning desire to be a mom and to get pregnant again, but I am terrified. His nursery just sits empty. I can't help but think that this whole year was a waste! I am just feeling so jealous of other friends that I know who get to bring their babies home. I need that happy ending, but I can't stop thinking that I will never get that happy ending. My whole world has been shattered. I am just feeling so alone and sad. Any encouraging words or support would be greatly appreciated!
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