I discovered this group shortly after I delivered my baby on June 4th, I was 35 weeks. About two months have passed, I feel I am coping okay, we've joined a support group run by the hospital, and I'm also seeing a therapist. I've been given 3 months off from work and have spent most of the time at home trying to find a new normal. I was told my son had no heartbeat on Friday, June 3rd, when i went in for my regular check-up. I had my check-up schedule for June 6th, but I hadn't been feeling well and decided to move up my appointment. I looked back at this with much regret, the previous Friday on May 27th I had called my doctor complaining about swelling and a fever, but did not mention the fact I hadn't been feeling the baby kick. I really can't remember the last time I clearly felt a kick, when they delivered the baby they said he looked as though what ever happened to him had happened within a few days, but I don't really believe that's true. We have no known cause of death, and chose not to do an autopsy b/c several doctors told us they would probably be inconclusive. At times I feel absolutely tortured about not doing kick counting, could I have saved the baby? Just like many of you, this was our first child and I had no problems throughout the pregnancy. I wish I had paid more attention to my body, I had no idea a stillbirth was even a risk. I do understand there may not be anything that could have been done, but I can't stop thinking what if I had called the doctor earlier, could they have saved my son?
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