I'm really starting to wonder if the pain will ever get easier, I know she's only been gone for 5 months and it's not supposed to be easy now but I feel like the pain is worse now. I don't know if I'm hurting so much because I see what Amariah would be doing; Ryleigh is doing all those things and I just wish Amariah was her to smile at me like Ryleigh does. I was talking to my daddy today and told him I think it might be somewhat easier if I just had answers; I ask God why he took her from me everyday. I just don't understand; I'm trying so hard to let my faith and family help me through this but honestly some days I'm so mad at God. I know that that isn't right but I can't help it. I feel bad for getting mad at God but I just do. Everybody says "time heals everything" I don't know if time is ever going to heal the hurt I have right now. My angel is always going to be in my heart. Derek and I are trying to get pregnant again; I was asking my friend to pray for us to get pregnant and have a healthy baby and she told me that I shouldn't try to get pregnant again right now that the only reason I was doing it was to replace Amariah. No other child that I have will ever replace Amariah. I'm always going to love her and miss her; there is no replacing my first child. Her saying that hurt me so bad. Has anyone's hurt gotten easier as time has passed. Thank ya'll for "listening". I'm sorry for rambling on and on.
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