My baby girl was stillborn in 1977. I was 26 weeks pregnant. That was a time when people didn't talk about stillborn babies. You were just told to forget about it, get on with your life, have another baby. I was not allowed to see her or hold her. There are no photos or footprints. Nothing. Only this year have I started to come to terms with her birth. In the past 32 years I have had had waves of grief every few years, but I pushed them down because they were too painful. This year I have been trying to bring her into my consciousness and hold her there. For the first time I have been able to say her name - it is Angela Lee. I have talked about her, been to support meetings, lit candles for her. I have been wearing black mourning clothes for her. None of these things comfort me, but they are a way of honouring and remembering her and saying she is important. One thing I have learnt thru this painful journey this year: Nothing makes pain better; nothing makes it worse; pain just is. I feel like it will never end. Is there anyone else out there who has waited a long time to honour their baby?
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