Ok this is going to be long....My 16 stepdaughter moved in with us about 10 months ago. We have always had a pretty good relationship. When it was decided that she was going to be moving in with us we discussed with her how it was going to be a completely different situation for her. It was just her at her moms while at our home there is her dad and I as well as our 2 daughters..3 and 4.. She was given chores to do (which she didnt have before) and rules she was going to have to follow. What aggrivates me to all ends is that she half-ass all her chores( she has to clean the kitchen, feed the animals and empty the litterbox...not alot)I dont know how many times I have had to get onto her about this. My worst issue is how she doesnt understand that this is a FAMILY! We were have a discussion with her and were wanting to know what was bothering her and the first thing that came out of her mouth was "WE( MEANING HER DAD AND I) NEVER DO ANYTHING TOGETHER, THEY(MEANING HER SISTERS) ARE ALWAYS AROUND." That went right thru me. It's not like she is a child and not liking to have to share her parents...My oldest is 4. She has had 4 yrs to adjust to having siblings, plus she has lived here for almost a year now. I attepmt to have a "girls night" on the weekends for her, we will get a movie and make popcorn or icecream or somthing and it is just her and I. I dont single her out to do somthing with my kids like I do with our girls night. I love her and enjoy having her here...most the time...but am i being unrealitic. I look back on when I was her age and I sure as hell was 10 times more mature. Plus...she has this attitude that i hate. I guess her and her mom argue alot and her mom let her get away with pretty much anything...and I am trying to instill good into her and I get alot of attitude. It is just so frustrating at times because I would have never talked to my mom the way she talks to me somtimes.I know teenagers will be teenagers but I would not have gotten smart with my parents, rolled my eyes( while they were looking, huffed and puffed or talked to them in the way she talkes to me. ANd it seems to me that her dad and mom have left it up to me to be the "parent " here. We have had a issue with her smoking and thought we had it under control...welll on her 1th bday we threw her a susprise party at the hotel where my husband worked and had her mom and some of her friends come( they live in another state). We allowed her and her friends to have a room of their oww next to ours, with strict rules. I astopped at the room to tell her goodnight and was basically stopped at the door by one of her friends. Basically I noticed that there was an abundance of bodyspray smell. I went back to my room and informed my husband and her mom I thought they were smoking, her mom went into the room shortly there after and came back saying she could smell smoke. Ok now if you can SMELL smoke wouldnt you do somthing about it? She came back to the room and told me she could smell it. So now it was left up to me to deal with. I dont have a problem with being her parent but I dont feel I should be the only one doing anything. I know I kinda rambled on here but I dont know should I be the parent even if her actual parent dont do much or should I back off and say hey you all need to step up to the plate. I feel like I am being taken advantage of ...by all 3 sides.
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