Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
I have been involved w/ my hubby for over 8 years now. Met him when his daughter was 2 and son was 2 mos. we have 50/50 custody. Their mother is there but does everything half ass, doesn't schedule their appointments, doesn't pay for sports, doesn't sign off on their homework, etc. I am the one who does all of this and more. Their dad is a good man, but I think he is too afraid to be the 'bad' guy in case they decide they don't want to live with us anymore.
His son has been expelled from school two years ago and now was suspended last week. (Major behavior/anger issues) His mom took him out to lunch after he was suspended. We haven't grounded him or any other. My hubby says I can 'do whatever' I want to do to punish him aka he's not going to do anything - I am on my own as the bad guy.
Today his son spent all day getting in trouble and then screaming at me to shut up and how I am nobody, I am not his mom and he hopes that his dad leaves me. He throws everything in his room and will not stop screaming most of the day.
Everytime i try to talk to my husband about it, it must be my fault that ss reacts to me that way, I am too strict, etc.
I feel like after 8 years, nothing is going to change. I take care of his every need. His mom and dad don't even know what his shoe size is. At what point do I just give up and quit trying? I don't know how much more I can take before I go crazy.
P.S. he already told CPS (school called them?) that his mom locked him in his room (not true, she doesn't discipline) but now I am so scarred he is going to make up stuff about me in the future....
His son has been expelled from school two years ago and now was suspended last week. (Major behavior/anger issues) His mom took him out to lunch after he was suspended. We haven't grounded him or any other. My hubby says I can 'do whatever' I want to do to punish him aka he's not going to do anything - I am on my own as the bad guy.
Today his son spent all day getting in trouble and then screaming at me to shut up and how I am nobody, I am not his mom and he hopes that his dad leaves me. He throws everything in his room and will not stop screaming most of the day.
Everytime i try to talk to my husband about it, it must be my fault that ss reacts to me that way, I am too strict, etc.
I feel like after 8 years, nothing is going to change. I take care of his every need. His mom and dad don't even know what his shoe size is. At what point do I just give up and quit trying? I don't know how much more I can take before I go crazy.
P.S. he already told CPS (school called them?) that his mom locked him in his room (not true, she doesn't discipline) but now I am so scarred he is going to make up stuff about me in the future....
-
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
-
Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
I can relate to how your feeling. I myself have a step mother and was with someone who had children.
I say dont stress yourself out why should you have to deal with his behaviour. Let his mother and father do all the stressing. They will soon begin to recognise how much you have done. And if you just let your husband and his mother deal with him he will begin to respect you a bit more. Not to say that he shouldnt be punished if he speaks to you in a rude manner. But if he does perhaps just go for a walk or something to release stress and he'll soon learn that its no longer going to bother you and hopefully stop his behaviour towards you.
Best of luck hun. Let me know how you go :)
I think the longest it went was overnight, and that was because we lost power, and I didn't want them carrying stuff back and forth in the dark. They got the picture really early. Maybe you should try something like that to bring him down to earth a bit. Good luck.
The situation with my step-kids finally got to the point where I decided that me trying to raise them was not going to work.
I stopped investing myself, time and money in their upbringing. I realized that if I desired I could cease being responsible for them or their actions. Neither would I take credit for how they turned out, good or bad. I simply stopped interfering in their lives. This is not to say if they would start a fire on the living room floor or try to put a stick in their siblings eye I would not intervene. But if they did not do the laundry as scheduled I ignored it. Their Mom was the disciplinarian.
I would talk to her in private if I had issues, but once she made the decision I backed her up 100%. Yes my tongue was sore at times. But it worked.
Once the kids realized I was no longer the ogre they had me pictured as their attitude changed. I was not their friend, but neither was I the enemy. They came to realize that I had not done those things to irritate them. They in fact missed the things that they had come to depend on me doing. Permission to go to the mall when their Mom was not home? "Sorry, can't do that". They began to realize that they were responsible for their actions. Not me. They could no longer blame me for the consequences of misbehaving just because I saw them. I never told. If they were caught in a infraction it was not my fault they got caught. Can't blame me any longer.
With that things got much easier around the house.