I am engaged to my future husband-we've been together for four years-he's been separated from his ex for five years, the divorce went through only one month ago. This is mainly because the ex is a nitpicker who has put him through utter hell. Anyway, they have two boys 9 and 11 who are shared by them, although she has full custodial rights. They have an atrocious schedule-Mon. & Tues. with Mom, Wed. & Thurs. with Dad and every other Fri. Sat. Sun. with Dad or Mom. They don't know whether they are coming or going. The younger boy has ADHD which makes his confusion worse. An example of what I am talking about: The younger boy needs direct supervision for his homework. She has in the past actually done his homework for him, in her handwriting, to get it done. She asked me this year to 'fudge' a book report for him, since he didn't finish reading the book. To her, it is more important to look good to others than for him to learn. I refused to do this and let him fall on his face since that is what would happen in the real world. He needs to learn consequences to his actions (not reading the book) NOW before it is a real problem as a teenager. Both children are extremely adept liars because they have watched their mother do it often. (I have caught her in more than one lie.) We have our hands full with these two, and after they have spent five days in a row with her, we spend a full day or two deprogramming them from the attitude they develop. It sucks!!
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