Most of my time with the kids really is a roller coaster ride. So rather than the most recent, Ill give the most precious.

1.)The first summer (there have only been 2) my SD told me that I was the weirdest step-mom ever. I thought it was wonderful because at the time we were playing.

2.) My SS is very loyal to his mom. Well during the 1st summer he jumped out of the car and gave me a hug. That night he crawled onto my lap and cuddled and then told me he loved me.

3.) At Christmas (the only one) we were taking the kids skiing. My SD asked her dad when we were going to get there. Her brother turned to her and said, Come Spring. (Come Spring is something my dad said to us growing up. I started saying it to the kids after we met. It was just something fun.) What made me so happy is that they really do listen to the smallest things. I discovered that no matter how small, I could have a positive impact.

4.) My SK usually fight over who gets to sit with dad. I understand where they are coming from, but sometime it really bothers me. Anyway, during our last visit in September, my SS didnt fight with his sister on who was going to sit by dad. He said he was going to sit by me. (Dad did sit with him too, but choose to sit by me.)

Mine cleaned the kitchen after he made pancakes!

I almost passed out! :)

i have moments that i love them....when she broke up with her boyfriend and came home crying to me was special....when my step son cleaned up after himself was special as well.

Wow. So step-parents take the smallest things to heart? Hm....

Absolutely MurderOnAve!

As a step-parent, I know my SD always compares what I do to what her mom would do. I don't blame her, I'm not her mom. But it hurts so bad when I put forth effort in something and all I get is "mom's is better cause..." My heart drops to the pit of my stomach. I know it's coming, but it's never any less painful.

But, back to MrsR, we started this dinner thing about 2 weeks ago. We eat dinner together almost every night, but we started letting her pick dishes from her own cookbook. On Sunday, we all go to the store, buy what we need and make it. We use our nice plates, turn the lights off and light candles. We make a big deal out of it because it means something to her. It's exhausting and stressful for me because I have to watch over a 15 y/o and my H, but I'm not doing it for me.

As we were cleaning up, she refused to let me do the dishes. The second I put the brush down, she took it and wouldn't give it back. I was so surprised that she didn't just get up from the table and go watch TV. I'll never forget it.

A funny thing, whenever a cop has someone pulled over, she says, "busted" which I used to say many many years ago. We laugh every time!

Hm...Wow. When I lived with my Step-mom when we were finished making dinner I just went up into my room. I didn't think it was such a big deal to you guys that we help clean up and do stuff. Hm...so interesting. I guess I never thought about how she felt about it.

MurderOnTheAve, it's not only the times our stepkids clean up or do chores that we get excited... it's when they acknowledge our presence, confide in us, ask for our advice, tell us they love us, give us a kiss/hug goodnight, and even something as simple as a smile or a laugh directed to us. All of those "little things" make it worth it, at least for me it does. I believe that almost every stepmom truly cares about her stepchild, maybe some just can't show it properly. I'm not so lucky to have that built in bond that a child and parent have and sometimes it makes it hard for me to know what exactly to do. Do I back off and let the child come to me, or do I try to be a parental figure... do I ignore them when they are being hurtful or do I stand up for myself? Sometimes, no matter what you do, it's a no win situation. I can just do my best and hope for the best. It does help me to cherish every good moment that we have.

Oh, and thanks everyone for your responses. I love hearing about the good times :)

My SS and I have a strained relationship and he is only 9. One day he walked by the open bathroom door while I was drying my hair and just glanced in and I yelled after him "are you looking at me?" (kidding) and he just looked at me like he thought I was going to beat him or something, but then I told him I was kidding and later that night, when I walked by while he was watching TV, he said it back to me, and now that is our thing, we always say "you looking at ME?" It's just that little connection.

Last night, when I was washing my son's black makeup off his face from his Halloween costume, he gave me a big hug and said "Mom, I love you...you are my best friend!"
It made me feel SO special!!!!