Hi I need some advice. I have never been married and have no kids. My fiance, who I have been with for 7 yrs, just got custody of his two girls ages 11 & 13 about 1 yr ago. His ex-wife was abusive to the 13 yr old and she lost custody. I felt sorry for the girls so I helped my fiance get custody to put them in a better environment. Now I feel I am the one being abused. His 13 yr old was raised by a babysitter b/c her mother worked full time. My fiance left when they were just 2 and 4 yrs old. The 13 yrd old has terrible manners and disrespect for her elders including her own father. She is now starting to be disrespectfull to me and I told him I will not tolerate this treatment. I have witnessed her calling her father a Ass***le and to F**k himself and she has even hit him. I was expecting him to give her some form of consequence for her actions...he seems to think that her saying she is sorry is enough! I was 13 once upon a time and I would never raise my hand to my mother of father without a consequence. The kid manipulates and badgers until she gets out of it. Because of his guilt that he wasn't there to protect her he tries to be THE FRIEND instead of the father. I sacrificed everything for him and his girls. When I tell him his daughters are disrespectful to me I expect him to defend me and tell them this behavior is unacceptable. He usually comes up with some excuse b/c he is so afraid of them not liking him. I tell him that it will only get worse if he dosen't put his foot down now. If I would have known this was the type of father he was going to be full time I would have probably ended the relationship a year ago. I also disagree with the amount of time the girls spend on the internet unsupervised. He seems to not want to face his problems and hopes they just go away on their own. I have spent countless hours reading books on parenting and I know what he is doing is wrong. My last hope is counseling hopefully he sees the light.
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