Okay...I have been divorced for 5 years and have three children (15,11,& 9). I met my boyfriend abut 3.5 years ago and couldn't believe I found someone who treated me so well. His name is Jeff and he also has three children....a 22-year old girl and twin boys that are 20. Well, we decided to move in together about 9 months ago. At the time, his 22-year old daughter still lived at home...going to her 3rd college trying to "figure out what she wanted to do with her life". At first, everything was pretty good...as long as I gave her a lot of attention. She doesn't have a good relationship with her real mother so I wanted to be a friend to her. Well, as time went on, I started realizing that she had no desire to "give back". She wouldn't hardly pay attention to my children and wouldn't help around the house at all. She would wash her own clothes and make her own food and then wash her own dishes....even if there was one or two other dishes in the sink! Jeff had taken another job and traveled(s) a lot and when he came home, she would get mad at him if he went somewhere with me and didn't come home when she wanted him to!! I knew going into this relationship that Jeff was close to his kids, but come on! She's 22!! He still pays for her car payment, her car insurance, her cell phone, her gym membership, not to mention the cost of household items and food! She works, but never offers to even help. Jeff has mentioned to her several times that she needs to start paying her car payment and she agrees, but when the time comes, she never mentions it! Anyway, there ended up being so much tension (and way to many stories to talk about) that she moved out and into her grandmothers house. Now...let me tell you...Jeffs mom is just not nice. She says things to Jeff like "Oh, I forgot, you have a family now...you don't need us anymore"! She never says anything to me, but Jeff tells me what she says because we believe we need to talk about everything to keep our relationship strong. His parents absolutely baby these kids and doesn't try to get them to grow up at all! I don't know what to do! I try to stay out of it most of the time, but when he does things with me and my kids, his mother gives him a guilt trip that he didn't spend that time with his "grown" kids.....even though they work and have girlfriends, etc. I can't say anything about him paying everything for his daughter because it looks like I want the money for myself and my kids since we moved in. Jeff told his mother that he was going to have his daughter start paying her own car payment since she moved out and is working "full time" and his mother said "I can't believe you are doing to do that"....because she is trying to save her money to go to yet another school! She's been in school for like three years and only has a "freshman" status!! It's unbelievable! And, this is just the daughter! I won't bore you right now about the twin boys....but, they aren't as bad. Does anyone have any advice? I love Jeff and I think we have the potential to have a great, meaningful, and long-lasting relatinship. But, I have my doubts about marrying him some day. I don't want this turmoil for all of my life. I keep thinking it might get better, but I'm not sure?? The daughter situation might get better, but what about his mother? I've never been good enough for her son and they are the type that think they are "better" than everyone else. My youngest child is 9! Do I wait it out or do I get out now? My kids love Jeff and don't have a relationship with their real father so I'm very confused. I looked on the internet tonight to try to get some relief and guidance. I've never done anything like this before, but I'm hoping someone can relate to my situation. Please help!!
Posts You May Be Interested In