Step Families Support Group

Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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/ Step Families Support Group

one step forward two steps back

deleted_user
deleted_user
does any one else ever feel that for every step they take forward that they also take a couple backward.

my step children are adults...not that you would know it most of the time....i have persevered with them for the last 2 years, the lies, the stealing all of the crap....then i thought i had made a break through...i thought i was making some headway...but no....my step daughter couldn't get her own way, she wanted to borrow the car but we had soemthing on so she couldn't have it...she had to catch the bus home....we could have dropped her off on the way but she would have had to wait while we finished getting ready...she had a tantrum most 2 yr old would be proud of and stomped out of the house...i tried to call her about a family event this weekend but she didn't answer...i left a message for her....then i get home and find a message from her telling me that she isn't talking to me and she wont be coming to her nephews birthday on saturday so she wont need a ride.

i sometimes wonder if it is all worth it...if i do this shit just to torture myself...then i am reminded how much i love my man!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know what u mean, just when u feel like you have worked through issues and everyone is getting along, someone has to pull some crap. But when u think about it, that happens in biological families too, w/ step families it is just more complicated. Sometimes I think we just need to wait for the storm to pass and in the meantime, strengthen and build on our marriage. Sometimes it just feels like it's draining the life out of you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, you know, reading what you wrote, there comes a time that you just have to cut the cord and let them try to fly. From the sounds of it, your sd probably won't fly very far - she'll just have to walk the rest of the way. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I KNOW WHAT U MEAN TO I AM IN TO FAR I LOVE MY MAN TO MUCH BUT I HATE ALL THE SHIT IT IS SOOOO NOT WORTH IT I MEAN I DEAL W HIS KID FROM HIS EX GIRLFRIEND HE DON'T AND NEITHER DOES THE MOTHER IT IS CRAZY HE HAS THREE OTHER KIDS ALSO WHICH HAVE LIED ON US TRYED TO HAVE US THROWN IN JAIL JUST SO THEY WOULD NOT HAVE TO COME OVER HEY I AM NOT GONNA CRY IF THEY DON'T COME OVER TO TELL SOME LIES ON ME I'M SORRY HE HAS A DAUGHTER THAT IS 15 SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING BUT SIT ON THE COUCH SHE CALLED ME A BITCH IN MY OWN HOUSE AND HE DID NOTHING BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID OF HIS OWN KIDS AND WHAT THEY WILL TELL I SAY IF U FEAR YOUR OWN KIDS SOMETHING IS WRONG
deleted_user
deleted_user
i hear what you are all saying and i know it is hard but i love my man so much i just have to try and get past it...it sucks sometime but then so does life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey Casper30,

Sounds like a nightmare. I'm not there yet and i hope i'll never have to be. My partner's little girl is only 3 and a half and he's very good at dealing with her toddler tantrums, not that she has many.

Very good advice from not the boss. As frustrating as it might be when your sd is being selfish and irrational, I'd just let her get on with it. Certainly do not give in to her..eventually she'll be the one that has to come back to you because, by the sounds of it, she's not mature enough to actually deal with serious stresses.

Furthermore, you should be praising yourself. You' obvioulsy do love your man as you've said so a couple of times and that's really magical. I also think that if this wasn't going on in our lives then we'd just have something else to complain about/ stress us out. Life is always so hectic that almost everyone has something tiring, trying and frustrating to deal with.

Good luck anyway and hope your sd soon realises that her attitude isn't going to get her far.
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