You've got a lot of history with this woman so my only generic advise is to bite your tongue for the small part of your life that you have to be there.

Well it's obvious that your stepmom has never accepted you. I don't know all the history with your relationship, but the best thing is just to cut it off with her and your step brother. Keep contact with just your dad, maybe have lunch with him occasionally to keep your relationship going. Suggest going to the movies or him coming over to your place some times. After all these yrs. he must know about the animosity between the three of you. Well, I hope it helps. Be blessed

If I were you, I would stop putting myself in that situation. You are almost 25, meaning you don't have to go over there if you don't want to. Valerie had a good point. Meet your dad somewhere else other than at the house and stay away from your step-mom and brother. If you do go over to the house, nod, smile and get out as quickly as you can.

How about if you take your step mom to lunch to try and talk out your differences and if that does not work then just arrange to meet with your dad when step mom is not around. You do not need to have a relationship with step mom to have a relationship with your dad there are things you and your dad can do together that do not require your step mom to be in the picture for. Be the bigger person and try to mend the fences but if it does not work out then you know you have tried and go on working on the relationship with your father.

Keriraye, once again you hit the nail on the head. Heck with her (stepmom). No love lost.

well thanks for all ur advice. i ended up standing up to my step mom on thanksgiving day she ended up sking me to go downstairs to get some chairs and my shoulder was bothering me so i did it ne ways an she didnt like one of the chairs i brought up becasue it had duck tape on it and we always used it so it was okay. "so i said fran if you want a different chair go get it ur self" and she said " i am not going to deal with you. then i said a few other things to her and this was in font of my grandfather. and alls he was saying in the back round is "tara tara tara'. i havent seen her since then i have asked her to give me a ride and shes ben a bitch towards me but. thats all i am going to sit down with her and get everything out on the table and see were it leads us but i am only going to do that when i feel the time is right.

Have you ever embraced your step mom, even when she has wronged you? I am a step mom and I find when the "child" is respectful and gracious all kinds of wonderfuls can happen. It takes two to have a relationship..Have you done your part? Have you ever gone out of your way for her? I find in the step situations ( especially my own) there are always two sides of the story to make relationships strained.No one is perfect..its stressful pleasing kids that have it in for you....Give her a hug and tell her how much you appreciate her.........you will be amazed by what might take place :)

Has your step mom ever "embraced" you? I would say that it sure would hard to embrace someone that has never embraced you since the age of 3. The relational tones have been set by the step mom a long time ago, I believe that the family setting has not been one that has been nuturing to you. I read your profile and see all the issues you have been dealing with. Maybe you really just need to go see a counslor and find out how to get some kind of closure with her. Just accept the relationship for what it is and close it. And maybe after you have some clear closure on that crippling relationship you could begin to heal in the other areas in your life. Try to find a mentor. An older woman that you can confide in and feel close to, a mother figure, but a friend as well. Church is a very good place to find a woman for this purpose. I think you have grieved over this relationship long enough and it has taken it's toll on you. Just get closure and when you are around her make only because you have to, and in those situations, just smile and be nice as you can be. It will be healing for you to know that you have let go of everthing and put it in the past. Maybe she will notice your change and try to facilitate a new relationship with you one that will be healty. I hope it will help you. Merry Christmas.

No she has never embraced me, and yea i am apart of alot of communities on here but the only one that cause problems between us is because i am gay and ever since i came out wen i was 21 when i did to her and my dad she has treated me bad, and i we never argued on xmas just the day after and my grandfather said just "shut up and listen" and me listen to her in order me to do that its called to give RESPECT you have to earn it and thats the way i see it.

ifwazme4life