My bf's family is very close knit. We've been together for a few years and I'm just now starting to notice that my son and I are not really TRUE members of the family. His brothers wives get treated a little differently than I do. I know that I will not be considered an actual member of the family unless we're married. But, last night his younger brother gave the wonderful news that his wife is pregnant (they've been trying forever). I was so happy for them but then I started thinking as I was laying in bed....my bf and I will never have kids, he had a vasectomy 4-5 years ago when he was with his ex. Whenever the subject of us having kids came up we explored the possibility of getting the vasectomy reversed. Last night he told me that it cannot be reversed, the doctor made sure of that by removing something when the procedure was done. I didn't even know he had a vasectomy until after I moved in with him now there is no possibility of it ever being reversed, unlike he has lead on to believe. I feel like his ex will always have a higher role than me because she is the Mother of his children and she will be a "true" member of the family (even though no one likes her). Because of the role she has played that I never will. This really kind of makes me sad and I'm trying to find a way to deal with it right now.
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