My parents divorced when I was 9 years old. My dad remarried 2 years later. The person that he married treated us okay sometimes, but she could be really evil. She would twist your words and turn them back on you just to hurt you. She and my dad used to fight weekly and it was very scary. Well, she and my dad eventually had 2 darling little girls together. I was 15 and 17 when they were born. I spent my weekends, and school breaks looking after them. I loved those little girls (still do, and they will be 12 and 14 this year). They are growing into lovely young ladies. Their marital (and financial) problems continued and they divorced a few years ago. My dad always did whatever he could to please her, even if it meant hurting me or my brother. Needless to say, I lost respect for him somewhere in the mix. I grew up, left home, went to college, and moved to California over 5 years ago. I do feel guilty for my loss of respect for him and the fact taht I just don't want very much to do with him. I just want us to get along, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

He remarried a few years ago to a very nice Christian lady who has 2 sons from a former marraige. I have never spent more than a few minutes with any of them and we have never lived in the same house. I have noticed a difference in him. He goes to church now and has the family life that he's always wanted. He's still a pleaser though... I went to visit them in April of last year and wanted to go to the beach while I was "back home". They rented a condo and I took my son (the first grandchild), my brother and his girlfriend, and them went. It was a disaster. I got there first and checked in to the condo. Took my son to the beach and to the pool. He had a blast. Then we got him inside and gave him a bath. He later fell asleep. Everyone got ready for dinner and stepmom wanted to go to a certain restaurant to eat. She didn't want me to wake my son... So, when we got to this restaurant between 8:00 and 8:30 pm and found out there was a 1.5 - 2 hour wait, I nixed it. I said that I didn't want my 18 month old out that late, that I wanted him in bed earlier than that. We left and went to eat at another place that was not as crowded. After that point, stepmom did not say another word to me or my brother. It was really weird to spend the entire dinner in relative silence, then the following day. She would whisper things to my dad then he would scurry about like a scared dog. I think that is what irritates me the most! So we finally made it through that weekend. (sorry this is rambling on and on, but I'm trying to give a little background). She apologized to me at the last minute before I was to get on the airplane to go home to cA. In December, my grandmother passed away. My husband's parents picked me up at the airport and they drove me to the funeral. we stayed at my stepmother's house (the mother of my half-sisters) because she and her new husband had the room and they had another place to stay. So my in-laws and I and the baby had a place of our own, without having to stay in a hotel. My dad's house is always a messy disaster and he has lots of cats running around. I can't hardly stand to go there. I would be so embarrassed for my mother in law to have seen that house that I just couldn't do it. Her house is like a museum... Anyway, the day after the funeral, we were supposed to go to his house for breakfast. He called that morning and told us not to come; that I should spend time with my grandfather. Ok, whatever. I apologed for his lack of ability to make a decision to my in-laws and we had bfast at McDonald's. Then, while we were visiting my GF and getting ready to leave for the 3 hour drive back to their house, my dad called and asked if I would go with them to the cemetary b/c the stepmom got some ferns for my mom's and gradmother's graves. This was the last thing that I wanted to do, because I was just there the day before and still feeling really raw. I told him that I really didn't want to go and he said that he really wanted me or my brother to be there. So, my brother and I agreed to go, but for a few minutes only. We went out there, and he and stepmom kept making comments to each other about how it's ok to be bold... then he started in on me. He said that he want's me to treat the stepbrothers as equals as my sisters. It's just not the same for me with her boys. I don't even know them! I know it's all her putting these words into his mouth and it really irritates me. So, 2 weeks ago, he told me that she and I need to have a talk about some things that are going on and that he's been having problems for the past few weeks. He's blaming ME for his problems and I don't even live in the same state! Please help!