I know how these children can be the drama queen and what do we do, how do we deal with it? We are only step parents and we do alot for them but cannot even get repspect. It's very Hard!!!!!

Plus when you get to the point you can't deal with it ,what about the point I do not want to deal with it anymore, it's a big decision to make and I know there are alot of us out there, good luck to us all!!!

Thank you for your support. I didn't realise that there were somay of us out there! I've given up trying to earn respect cause everytime its just slung back at you. Trouble is she doesn't have respect for herself!

The answer is quite simple I think...let her mother and father deal with her. Dont stress yourself out over it, its really not worth it. Shes going to do what she wants to do in the end anyway.
Just let her know that your always going to be there for her if she needs you and that you love her.
All the best on this one
Melzy :)

I wrote the following a long time ago and I hope it helps in your situation:

The situation with my step-kids finally got to the point where I decided that me trying to raise them was not going to work.

I stopped investing myself, time and money in their upbringing. I realized that if I desired I could cease being responsible for them or their actions. Neither would I take credit for how they turned out, good or bad. I simply stopped interfering in their lives. This is not to say if they would start a fire on the living room floor or try to put a stick in their siblings eye I would not intervene. But if they did not do the laundry as scheduled I ignored it. Their Mom was the disciplinarian.

I would talk to her in private if I had issues, but once she made the decision I backed her up 100%. Yes my tongue was sore at times. But it worked.

Once the kids realized I was no longer the ogre they had me pictured as their attitude changed. I was not their friend, but neither was I the enemy. They came to realize that I had not done those things to irritate them. They in fact missed the things that they had come to depend on me doing. Permission to go to the mall when their Mom was not home? "Sorry, can't do that". They began to realize that they were responsible for their actions. Not me. They could no longer blame me for the consequences of misbehaving just because I saw them. I never told. If they were caught in a infraction it was not my fault they got caught. Can't blame me any longer.

With that things got much easier around the house.

When I read the first paragraph of your post, I was wondering if we had the same step daughter...My step daughter has broken her Fathers heart by moving out becuase she doesn't get her way. She lies about us and is manipulative as well. I wish I had some advice but alls I can say is you're not alone.

Are her parents disciplining her? I can say that my husband and his ex don't discipline my stepson at all and I think they'll pay for it one day. My stepson is a very entitled seeming 15-year-old and his rude behavior only gets worse. Yeah, like Amy said, we're the one's who get stuck with no say but our spouses expect us to support the "family". What family? Last time I checked I didn't think the 3 of us were a family. It's sad. I'm sorry you're going through this. Her parents need to DO something. It's not her, she's a product of her parents. I'd be mad at them too. I am not happy with my husband and his ex for the way my stepson acts. They let him do it. So far, no big problems but why do I see something looming? Best to you

I am currently doing what Orange County is suggesting and I can tell you that it's given me my sanity back. And Amy is spot on!