Please help! Here it goes. I have been married now to someone who is 18 years my senior for three years now. I'm 29, we started dating when I was 21. At that time his kids were 9 and 10yos. He and I quickly fell in love and started living together Was ok at first. The kids "mother" took them twice a week, so I was loving the alone time. Then two years later, she upped and moved out of state. Yes, pretty deadbeat & still is. That is when the trouble started. He got full custody of them. Pretty much, he felt that he had to be mom and dad to them b/c of the divorce, and there were basically no rules. Well I did not grow up that way. I am the only child and I had discipline. And that is what I believe in. We have never seen eye to eye on how to handle situations requiring discipline. And it has ALWAYS been a constant battle. We fight over them ALL THE TIME. This has been our only major down fall. Not that his kids are horrible, I have seen worse, but rules have been broken time and time again and they have done things that they should NOT have gotten away with. Things are even worse today, they have not improved over time. His son no longer lives with us, and apparently I am 90% to blame that he left. The son and I have never really had any relationship at all. We barely spoke. The daughter and I do talk and she has told me on several occasions that she considers me to be her mother and that I was always there for her. However, I feel so hurt and disrespected that my ideas, thoughts and opinions on his children were never taken into consideration. I do not have any children of my own, but I consider myself to be a somewhat intelligent person. I only want them to gorw up and know how to handle themselves as adults. But being enabled is not going to help them. Needless to say I am so fed up with it all. My bags are almost packed and I have been looking for an apartment. I am so hurt and feel so much bitterness towards them that I feel like even therapy/counseling will not work. Is it wrong for me to want to leave? I feel like I will develop even more resentment and maybe even hatred towards them AND him if I stay. Do hese feeling ever go away? Thanks for letting me vent!
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