Well, the fact is that I just don't know how to be a stepmom. My husband and I got engaged just a few months after we met, and we found out he had gotten his friend pregnant (through a one-night stand after they had both had really bad break-ups) about a month after we got engaged. So, I was at the hospital the night my stepdaughter was born. I was pregnant myself. My daughter was born a few months later with a rare disease, which caused her to die 12 days after her birth. For a while, I cried everytime I saw my step-daughter because her and my daughter should have been so close in age. It's getting better with time, and I finally feel ready to figure out how I fit into my step-daughter's life. She has a really wonderful mother who is so accomodating with my husband and myself. We have never had to bring a judge into it. We worked out custody and child support amongst ourselves. She and my husband were never in a relationship together, so there is no weird history to deal with. She and I get along great. Neither of us is threatened by the other one. It is a pretty enviable step-family situation. My only complaint is that I do not know what to do. Because I am so fond of my step-daughter's mother, I would never want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like I have over-stepped my boundaries. At the same time, I truly adore my step-daughter, and I want her to feel loved and comfortable in our home. She will turn one in a couple of weeks, and she is only going to get older. Does anyone have any advice on how I should act when I am with her? Thanks for reading my story!