(Sorry this is going to be really long...) My husband's ex-wife and I DO NOT get along. I tried in the beginning to carry on a civil relationship with her, introducing myself to her without my husband knowing, because I knew she was upset that a stranger was around her children. She fed me a bunch of lies about my husband and pretended to be my best friend. When my stepdaughter (at the time she was 6) told me that her mom was throwing things away that I gave her and making her take off nail polish that I had put on her and other petty things, I gave up trying to be friendly. I felt so bad that my stepdaughter had to hide the fact that she liked me, and my heart ached for her. My stepdaughter always wanted me to be a part of her birthday parties, and she would insist to her mother that I be invited. When my husband was with me, everything was fine besides his ex and her friends (we secretly called them the Housewives of Chester County) talking about us in a corner like high school kids. On one occasion, my stepdaughter (8 at the time) told me that she had a back-to-school night coming up and really wanted me to go. I discussed it with my husband and he said he thought it would be ok if I went, but he forgot to let his ex-wife know that he would not be there with me. I was the first one to arrive since I wasn't quite sure where the school was, and I had some alone-time with the teacher. I introduced myself as Kaylee's stepmom and explained to her that my husband had been unable to attend, and we wanted to be more active in Kaylee's life outside of the home. She told me to have a seat at Kaylee's desk, but I asked her to find me a seat off to the side since Kaylee's mother would be there also and I didn't think it was appropriate for me to sit at the desk. She thought it was wonderful that I was there. When the ex showed up, she was not happy to see me there by myself, and snubbed me, but I ignored her. Kaylee was so happy I was there. She showed us both around the school and made quite an effort to make us both feel comfortable, but Mom did not play along. I told my SD that I would have to leave since it was late and a long drive home for me, and her Mom came over and asked why I was even there. To avoid making my SD uncomfortable, I avoided the question and said "Maybe this is not the best time to discuss this," and turned to go. Mom did not let up. She began cursing in front of hundreds of parents, teachers, and children, saying "this is bullsh*t, you are not her f-ing mother..." I was in shock and everyone was staring, so I said bye to SD and went to find the teacher to say bye. Mom beat me to it, and sat ignorantly on a desk while I waited my turn to talk to the teacher. When I got my chance to say "Bye and thank you very much, I will have my husband call you," Mom came up and cut in, saying she didn't know why I was there, didn't know where we lived, our phone number, etc. (she knows all that), making the teacher very uncomfortable and my SD wanted so bad to say "YES YOU DO!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??" I felt so bad. I apologized to the teacher for her having to deal with this, and turned and left.

3 weeks later, when my husband and I moved into our first house, his ex came to drop the kids off. It was the first time I had seen her since the school incident, and I was not happy. I told my husband beforehand, "I do not want her in my house. Get the kids' stuff and send her on her way." Well, she came to the porch where I was sitting and said she wanted to see the house (she was acting very fake and nice). I told her "I don't think that's such a good idea," as not to upset the kids. She looked at me, opened the door, and walked right into the house. I was PISSED! My husband ran up and told her she needed to leave, but she kept walking around. I sent the kids outside out of earshot and told her she was not welcome in my home after the way she treated me. My husband told her "She is my wife and this is her home and you need to respect her wishes." She sat on a couch and refused to move. I made my husband call the police... long story short, they had to remove her from the house.

You get the point, it's BAD between her and I.

Well now I am expecting a child, and when she found out, she said she would have to make something for the baby. The woman is twisted. Why the hell would she think I would accept anything from her? I will not give my baby any gift that she may bring for it. She will have to deal with me in her children's lives since I am their stepmother, but she is NOT a part of my child's life in any way, shape, or form. I don't even want to be nice about it when she offers me a gift for the baby.

Any insight/advice/similar experiences?