I am 43 yrs old about to marry the love of my life. I have known him for 25 yrs. We were on again and off again until about 7 yrs ago we went our seperate ways. I have 2 grown daughters from previous marriage and 3 grandchildren. He married 6 yrs ago and has a 5 yr old son. Adam has autism. He was diagnosed at 3 yrs old. He is a challenge at times but for the most part he is a great kid. I love him as if he were my own. Here is the deal...Scott called me back in Sept 06 and told me he was getting divorced. At that time I was floored that he called me because we split on bad terms. After a few months I agreed to see him and we have been together ever since. I never believed in destiny, I do now. Anyways, Adams mom walked out on him, she whines that SHE is a victim of autism. How dare her! We have full custody of Adam, she is suppose to see him every other weekend, and she knows we would work with her for any other times as well. I believe all children should have a relationship with both parents no matter what the circumstances, until now. She only works on weekends, which leaves no time for visitation. She expects us to let her see him once every 6 weeks or so on days that school is out for whatever reason. Due to the autism this is extremely hard on our little guy. He regresses so badly after a visit with her. He loves his mommy and wants to be with her but she doesnt love him enough to be a mommy. He calls me mommy now. Anyways, after the judge signed the papers Adams dad told me he figured in about a yr she would probably want to give up her parental rights so she would no longer have to pay child support. He was wrong. One week after the papers were signed she emailed saying that since we were trying to push her out of her sons life that if we agreed to give up child support she would give up her rights and if we did not agree to give up child support then she would move back to our city and hire a lawyer (which she did not do for the divorce or custody agreement) and she would see Adam 5 days a week and not weekends so she would not have to work through the week. She also said that she would make all decisions concerning Adam. HA! Is she crazy?? She walked out on him, she has never kept him more then 12 hours, even though the few times that she has taken him she was suppose to keep him for three days during christmas break. She claims she cant handle him and his autism. We forwarded the email to the lawyer. I would imagine a judge will frown on this because to be honest it sounds like she is trying to sell her son to us, she does not want to see him, if she did she would. She wants to get out of paying child support. She has it in her head that she has joint custody, if you have joint custody then you do not have to pay child support, she is crazy. The only thing she is concerned about is having to pay child support, I have never heard the words "I love Adam" come out of her mouth. It has always been about money nothing else. We do not need the child support. Adams dad makes very good money at his job, I stay at home and take care of them both, I do work a part time job 16 hours a week just to get out of the house a couple of days a week and have a little blow money. It is about the principle for Adams dad, if she had taken Adam with her you can bet your ass she would have him paying every dime she could squeeze out of him. I think she thought that she would get her cake and eat it too, I also think she thought that no one would ever take on an autistic child, guess what, she thought wrong. I love him and his dad like there is no tomorrow and they love me just as much if not more. Adams dad has told me he can not believe the difference in Adam since I have been here. His behavior has improved enormously since I got here and he eats alot better now too. Autistic kids have a wide range of issues but nothing that someone with a little sense and alot of love can not handle. I am not sure what dad is going to do I understand if he wants to make her pay but I would have no problem adopting Adam and keeping her selfish, self centered ass away from him forever. She does not deserve Adam, and her actions say she does not want him. The day will come she will regret ever leaving this child. He is a good boy, he just needed a mommy to love him. Oh, did I mention she has been a registered nurse for 20 yrs, yes, I said registered nurse! She can not handle a 5 yr old with autism but she lives for the stress of nursing in a busy ER. Women like her should not ever have children. She thinks she can use him to get what she wants from his dad, does she not understand that when she signed the papers giving him sole custody and agreeing to pay child support that she has to do it like she agreed. When Adam is around her it has a very bad effect on his mental health. Does she not know that if she continues acting like this a judge can order no more visitaion due to the negative effect it has on a special needs child but she would still have to pay child support. I am not exagerating, it messes him up real bad and it takes us several weeks to get him back on track) and his mental health suffers as well. Autistic children MUST have routine and consistecy in their lives, the slightest change in everyday routine can throw them into horrible meltdowns. Meltdowns that no on can control, it is so hard on their little bodies and minds, how dare her! She will meet her Maker one day and He will know what she has done to one of His children!
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