I am SM to my husbands 16yo son. MY SS has gone thru a lot of trauma in his life. His BM abandoned him at the age of 4, my husbands 2nd wife was his SM for 8 years and then also abandoned him. (Side note: 2nd wife wanted SS to live with her after she and my husband split bc she said she loved him like her own, but 2 years after the split she kicked him out bc he had too many emotional issues she couldn't deal with. But she didn't just send him to live with us - she admitted him to the mental hospital bc she lied and said he was dangerous and was a threat to her other kids... that's a whole other long story, but she hasn't called or tired to see him since) Also my husband is not my SS's BF. My husband first wife cheated on him, and altho my husband is on the birth cert, he is not the BF. And we HAD to tell my SS the truht bc he is half african american and my husband is caucasian... eventually the kid woud have figured it out. So anyway SS moved in with us and I welcomed him with open arms. He sees a therapist on a regular basis and she helps him deal with his emotional issues and such... things were great for a while, but over the course of the last few months things have gone downhill. He is so cocky and arrogant with me and his father. My husband and I have 2 other children ages 1 and 2 and he treats them like $h*t. He is nasty to them, he pushes them around, and screams at them for just doing things that babies do. We've brought this up to the therapist and it boils down to SS just feels that kids are annoying and he doesn't want to deal with them. He acts like I've done him wrong by having children. I can't leave him alone with the kids for 5 mintues bc he makes them cry bc he takes thier toys away or yells at them. When I ask him why he will say "Oh I took such and such away bc I don't want to have to clean it up later" or some BS excuse like that. Once I caught him pulling my 2 year old by the ear. The baby was SCREAMING in pain. I came very close to punching my SS and I am NOT a violent person... I am at my wits end. I took his phone away last night. Why should I pay $50/month when all he wants to do is sit around a text? I can't get him to do his chores. He won't even shower or brush his teeth unless I tell him too. The ONLY thing he takes an interest in is reading his books, texting, or hanging out with his friends. If it doesn't involve any of those 3 he doesn't care in the least. I am tired of him acting like I OWE him something... I am at my wits end with my SS. I don't know what to do. I can't hit him... punishments don't work. I've yelled, I've cried, and I've just flat out talked my head off until I am blue in the face. any suggestions?
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