My issue may sound a bit different. My boyfriend and I are engaged, and SO excited. After 4 years together his kids have really let me into their lives and I feel so blessed. It's been a tough couple of years professionally and financially for us. And we've watched as his ex-wife has quickly gotten engaged and married, re-done their house, bought expensive cars and just told us she was pregnant (all in a matter of a year). I find myself envious of all the things she's been able to do, as if it we're a check list she's going through. While our dreams have been forced to be put aside. Shes even lied to the state and filed that my boyfriend had never paid child support, which he regretfully paid her in cash....and now can't prove. The amount was outrageous and hurt us financially. Although not believing it at first, I've grown to realize she's a person who demands focus at all times. She smiles right to your face, while she's stabbing you in the back or kicking you in the gut underneath it all. There's always some surprise she's working on, to shock you with. She's always watching everything we do and trying to do it faster, bigger and better. From where we take the kids to eat and have fun, to getting the exact car we had but gave up because we couldn't afford it. It just feels like a smack in the face everytime I see her. Believe it or not, I'm a very laid back person. But I've gotten caught up in this world that always involves her, and I can't help but to be mad and even jealous. We may be engaged, but it will be a bit before we can make that happen. And now as of Friday, she's pregnant (when even my boyfriend believed she physically couldn't), just broke my heart.....for those are the dreams we can't reach right now. Now that she's done everything before us, it feels like we're in her shadow and a copy cat. How do I get past all of this? Stop comparing myself to her? I know there's a way to get past this. Should I distance myself from seeing her? Any suggestions, spiritual guidance, or similar scenario's would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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