Hi! I can relate to a lot of what you are saying and you have every right to be pissed off, it does sound like she is trying to get as much as she can from you guys!! You guys pay the child support you are entitled to pay and you are also doing more on top of that... enough is enough!

Stick to your guns girl and try to get your husband to stick to his.. continue to say no to the dress shoes, you guys have done plenty!

We have full custody of my step son and his mother is a piece of shit to say it nicely. I am not even kidding you, she doesn't even pay her measly montly child support, but yet she sends my step son packages of candy, toys and FUN stuff for Halloween. She wants to be the *fun* parents while my husband and I have to work to feed him, put clothes on his back, shoes, school supplies.. all the things that are needed. It kills me that she thinks she is being a mother by doing what she is doing. The drama never ends!!

Good luck girly, if you ever need to talk I'm here. :)

~bella

I think that Bella is right. You have done more than enough. If you are paying child support out of every check, then buying clothes is not something that you're suppposed to do, it is extra. The child support covers everything the child should need. It sounds like she's just tying to get you to buy exra things is just her way of having you alleviate some of her responsibility. Don't do it. You are definitely not wrong in feeling like she's trying to use you.

Bella, it sounds like your child's mother could be my SD's mother. For every occasion she buys and sends bags and bags of candy, then the kids think they can eat candy all the time. I have a rule that the kids can have a piece of candy after dinner (a candy bar, or a bag of M&M's), but with the mother sending the stuff, they have bags of candy to eat before the next holiday. I think it is so stupid for a parent to want their children to eat that much candy. And to make things worse, my SD's birthday was just a few days ago. The mother sent 4 bags of candy, and the birthday gifts were ziplock baggies of thrift store jewelry. My SD just turned 14 and she likes jewelry, but what she got was ridiculous. We bought her a pair of earrings that are 14K gold with diamond chips, which cost us around $200, but of course it is just one pair of earrings. We also bought her a few other things, but it didn't compare in the amount of crap (excuse my language but that it what it was) that the mother sent. She thinks in terms of quantity and not quality. The stuff she sent will get broken or lost, and the stuff we bought will last her a lifetime. I think she is finally starting to understand it, because when she goes in her room, all the stuff she has in there is the stuff we've given her over the years, and the stuff the mother sends has either been broken, torn, or is lost. I think the mother is underestimating what this child can understand. Sorry for the long rant. This subject just gets to me.

as step parents you guys rock....my father never paid child support let alone bought me clothes or any thing else i needed....as a step parent i sympathise my step kids are adults and still expect dad to pick up the tab....stick to your guns...dont feel bad, she has to put in something as well!!!

thank you all for your responses. this situation really sucks and i can not believe that i am really living right in the middle of this craziness. anyway my husband and i talked yesterday and he joked about taking clothes back to buy shoes and i said "hell no" if that is what she wants to do she can drive all over town returning things to buy shoes, we have done our part. he said he was just kidding and that he was not going to buy dress shoes and i told him that we absolutely were not. anyway i am just waiting for her to call on saturday and ask did he buy them, and i will be the one to tell her no and that we are not going to buy them. i am so sick of this woman, just her existance is really getting on my nerves really bad.

anyway thanks to you all.

You are definitely right in your thinking. She is trying to take advantage of you guys. I wouldn't give in, because if you give her an inch, she'll take a mile! She is playing on your husband's guilt. Just keep all the receipts of the stuff you buy.

noahsmommy-thank you for your response and this is the point that i keep trying to make to my husband, i have no problem with us doing what is needed for the child but when we are going above and beyond and she has the nerve to be so greedy and selfish as to ask for more as to think that she should not have to do anything for the child she chose to have, really makes me angry. she defiantely is trying to use us and she plays off my husbands guilt. he told her that if the child is such a burden that she should give her to us, she said "no because you will try to have me downtown (in court). i have a son and if someone told me to give him to them, the first thing out of my mouth would not be "no because you are going to have me downtown.

i don't know what to say about this woman (well i do, but i won't) she makes me really sick and to be honest she and my husband are getting on my last nerve. thanks again.