
Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

deleted_user
my step daughters visited us again this sunday for several hours. on friday, saturday and sunday we shopped for winter clothes for her and our son. on sunday when my husband drops her off to her mother she tells him that the child needs dress shoes. i was furious because not only do we pay child support but we just bought her 2 pair of sneakers about a month and a half ago, and all the winter clothes. my husband feels guilty because he say the mother does everything he doesn't, meaning as far as caring for the child. i told him that she was suppose to, because the child lives with her and when she is with us we will do the same things she has to do. she pisses me off because i feel like she is trying to use us. she has 4 kids and can not take care of all of them so now she thinks that we should do it all. i reminded my husband that we are not rich and that he is only half responsible for his daughter. we have paid her support on time every 2 weeks and we have provided clothes for this child for every season. we also bought her whole christmas last year. am i wrong for saying no to the dress shoes? i think we do our part and she looks for every opportunity to use us because she knows my husband feels guilty.
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Stick to your guns girl and try to get your husband to stick to his.. continue to say no to the dress shoes, you guys have done plenty!
We have full custody of my step son and his mother is a piece of shit to say it nicely. I am not even kidding you, she doesn't even pay her measly montly child support, but yet she sends my step son packages of candy, toys and FUN stuff for Halloween. She wants to be the *fun* parents while my husband and I have to work to feed him, put clothes on his back, shoes, school supplies.. all the things that are needed. It kills me that she thinks she is being a mother by doing what she is doing. The drama never ends!!
Good luck girly, if you ever need to talk I'm here. :)
~bella
Bella, it sounds like your child's mother could be my SD's mother. For every occasion she buys and sends bags and bags of candy, then the kids think they can eat candy all the time. I have a rule that the kids can have a piece of candy after dinner (a candy bar, or a bag of M&M's), but with the mother sending the stuff, they have bags of candy to eat before the next holiday. I think it is so stupid for a parent to want their children to eat that much candy. And to make things worse, my SD's birthday was just a few days ago. The mother sent 4 bags of candy, and the birthday gifts were ziplock baggies of thrift store jewelry. My SD just turned 14 and she likes jewelry, but what she got was ridiculous. We bought her a pair of earrings that are 14K gold with diamond chips, which cost us around $200, but of course it is just one pair of earrings. We also bought her a few other things, but it didn't compare in the amount of crap (excuse my language but that it what it was) that the mother sent. She thinks in terms of quantity and not quality. The stuff she sent will get broken or lost, and the stuff we bought will last her a lifetime. I think she is finally starting to understand it, because when she goes in her room, all the stuff she has in there is the stuff we've given her over the years, and the stuff the mother sends has either been broken, torn, or is lost. I think the mother is underestimating what this child can understand. Sorry for the long rant. This subject just gets to me.
anyway thanks to you all.
i don't know what to say about this woman (well i do, but i won't) she makes me really sick and to be honest she and my husband are getting on my last nerve. thanks again.