My step-dad thinks he's some kind of alpha male top dog in "his house"...and yeah, it IS his house...but I don't care who's house I'm in. Whether it be his house, the white house, the neighbor's house----doesn't matter, he still needs to treat people with respect. He doesn't give a shit though. He's a miserable old man and every time he gets in a bad mood he starts barking out orders, complaining about stupid senseless things, threatening to take away "privileges" if I talk back or don't do what he says. I'm 22 fucking years old! I DO appreciate that they let me live here, and I DO appreciate everything they do for me...but what the fuck am I supposed to do when he's acting like the biggest asshole known to man, and holds shit over my head if I don't comply. I can only "go along" with so much before I get angry. But God forbid I tell him what I really think...then I'll "be sorry"...according to him. Fuck him. I'm so tired of this shit here. And my good for nothing spineless mother won't even listen to me. She lives in this stupid world of denial and she refuses to get involved, no matter what's going on...always has. I'm the ONLY one in this 3,000sq ft house that cleans. Me, my two kids, my parents and their filthy animals, and I'm 7mo's pregnant, and I do ALL of the cleaning except for the dishes which my mom does (usually). And I do ALL of the cooking. Every now and then my mom will cook a meal if I'm really tired or something, but she's so damn lazy, her cooking SUCKS. I feel like a little kid here and it's really grating my nerves. And my parents won't listen to me...my mom, because she'd refuses to hear it, and my step-dad because he thinks he's so fucking great. He thinks he's so powerful---yeah, real powerful, ordering your adult step-daughter around like some slave, expecting everything to be done for you, with an ultimatum up your sleeve at any given time if she doesn't go along with your ridiculous demands. I hope he rots in hell...and soon. His 400lb 65yo ass should have had a heart attack by now, hopefully he croaks SOON...that or I can move out SOON. The only reason I'm back here is because my fiancee left me and my stupid ass had invested all of my savings into him and our stupid relationship. I'm feeling so angry and upset right now. I guess I just needed to vent. I feel like I have no voice around here! And I feel like if I did try to say anything it would just backfire and make it worse...been there, done that...I KNOW it would. I wanna fucking disappear sometimes. But no, I've gotta sit here and be the best mom I can, not let anyone see me upset, not let anyone see me cry, and keep it all inside. It's fucked up.
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