
Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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Sorry in advance if this is too long. My husband and I used to have 50/50 custody of his kids, but a few weeks ago, he got a letter from his daughter, age 13 saying that she wants to live with her mom and just come here on weekends, etc, and that her brother, age 9 wants to do what she does. Now, I can understand that it is hard for kids to live here one week, and there the next, even though we live only 5 miles apart. My sd is very involved with school, church, etc. and has activities every night. I know it is probably easier for her to live in one place instead of having to figure it all out. While my husband can see this he is also sick about losing his kids. On top of that, his ex has filed a motion giving her sole residential custody. The kids are still here fairly often, if you break it down by a month, my ss is here the same number of days, and my sd only about 6 days a month less. Anyway, the judge ordered mediation for my husband and his ex, they have gone twice, and all she does is accuse him of things and lie about what he has done. She is only asking for custody to try and get more child support. We know for a fact that she has told the kids lies about what we do or say. She told my sd that we could not afford to send her on the class trip to D.C. because we put new windows in our house. We put in two windows in our lower level that we have had sitting in the basement for 3 years!! We said we would contribute to her trip, but could not affort $800 to be paid by Dec. 15th. We just dont' have the extra. Anyway, how do we deal with this with the kids. We don't want to say that their mom lies, but at the same time we don't want them believing things about us that are not true. We don't want them to be in the middle and be told conflicting things all the time. My husband is a good person, and for the most part has just held his tongue, but he doesn't want her to turn the kids against him. Any ideas?
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I know that you are in a difficult position. I will pray for you and your family that all turns out well for you. If you want to talk, just send me a message.
At 13 the daughter pretty much knows her head and I'd let it and the boy go.
Kids need a stable base from which to operate and a girl needs her mother from infancy to ????. 50?
A boy is another matter. It takes a mother to raise a boy. A father to raise a man.
I'd offer to enter to a written agreement agreeing to her requests providing when the boy turns ____ (13?) he will come and live with Dad.
Not if he wants to, but will come and live with Dad.